MEMPHIS

So, I am in Memphis for a business trip.

I am not going to lie... I kind of dig Memphis!

I have learned many important things here.

1.) This is a self-esteem state, if I have ever been to one. I feel smarter, tanner and thinner than ever before. Although all of the Caucasians who I have seen are visitors, like myself.

2.) Joe Flores has had to remind me that I should not talk to anyone with less than 3 teeth. I can't help it, I talk to everyone! But, I am gradually starting to see his point.

3.) I am in lust with Ron Artest! So, I hear that he is abusive... whatever, I'd let him slap me around a little! We went to a Grizzlies and Rockets game last night and sat in the 6th row. Mostly, I just assaulted Ron Artest with my eyes! But, Gasol was a really good player, as was Mayo! And, the AMAZING thing is that I actually remembered these fools names, cause I am really bad with sports information.

Ron Artest (Above Above) and Ming Yao or Yao Ming (Above) - I can't be bothered to learn names that are this ridiculous for people who are this ridiculously tall.

4.) Graceland is not a must-see place. Although, it WAS interesting in a way. It reminds me of the Mona Lisa. You HAVE to see it, because you know about it. But, no one ever really says "You HAVE to go to Graceland!" Just, like no one ever says "You HAVE to see the Mona Lisa!" You just do!

J. Flo thought that this was too much of a poser picture and REFUSED to get in the shot with me.

5.) Elvis was a HOT MESS! The sad thing I learned at Graceland is that more people watched his return to entertainment, than watched the first man land on the moon... and to that all I have to say is PEOPLE PULL YOURSELVES TOGETHER!!! What's the big deal anyway?

But, don't worry, I bought an Elvis Christmas ornament... from a guy who only had 3 teeth!!!

I better go, Flores is amusing me by driving with me into Arkansas and then to Mississippi... they are both so close, so I am dying to see them (although, I presume they will all look the same)!