People always ask ME for dating advice. People... CLEARLY this is not my niche. How do you people not get that.
From now on the only advice I am going to give is this...
http://itsyourtechnique.com
Bahahahahaha. It's awesome starting with the title... and then moving onto the content. AWESOME!
Tuesday, September 25, 2012
Tuesday, September 11, 2012
Totally Normal, Right?!
On Friday I had a conversation with my friend Claire that went something like this....
Claire: So, what are your plans for this weekend?
Ali: Dinner, wedding, birthday party thing and I have to make a Tony the Tiger costume.
Claire: Weird.
Ha ha ha.
That statement would not be weird at all... if I had any kids. I mean, I am sure most of my friends have weekend plans that sound a lot like that, right? But, they have 4 or 5 kids, usually.
Which brings me to this... why is it that only guys get that knock on the door saying "about 4 or 5 years ago we had a kid"??? Is that too much to ask? I just think that would be the best thing ever! Why do men have all the luck!?
Anyway, I DID make a Tony the Tiger costume all by myself (except the head, Jackie made the head for me). And, I am super impressed with myself! Bring on the kids... I am ready!
And, in two short days, I am going to rock it... just like a 4 or 5 year old kid would!
Claire: So, what are your plans for this weekend?
Ali: Dinner, wedding, birthday party thing and I have to make a Tony the Tiger costume.
Claire: Weird.
Ha ha ha.
That statement would not be weird at all... if I had any kids. I mean, I am sure most of my friends have weekend plans that sound a lot like that, right? But, they have 4 or 5 kids, usually.
Which brings me to this... why is it that only guys get that knock on the door saying "about 4 or 5 years ago we had a kid"??? Is that too much to ask? I just think that would be the best thing ever! Why do men have all the luck!?
Anyway, I DID make a Tony the Tiger costume all by myself (except the head, Jackie made the head for me). And, I am super impressed with myself! Bring on the kids... I am ready!
And, in two short days, I am going to rock it... just like a 4 or 5 year old kid would!
Thursday, August 16, 2012
Yomi
I am the WORST blogger on the planet lately.
Sorry. I have been busy. Lame excuse.
But, I wanted to take a minute to blog about something awesome. Yomi. She is the little girl I "mentor". Which is awesome, because ever since I got released from Young Womens at church, I miss being a teenager! And, she let's me be one again.
I recently became a member of a fantastic organization called America On-Track. It's a non-profit organization that sets up children of an incarcerated parent(s) with a mentor to help steer their lives in a better direction, as 70% of all children of prisioners end up in prisions themselves. I am a mentor (don't laugh) to the sweetest little 15-year-old girl name Yomira Martinez. She's smart and fun and I love spending time with her. Unfortunately, she hasn't had the most stable home life. I have loved being able to be a fun person for her to be around, a listening ear, and a stable consistent presence in her life.
I don't think I have fundraised for anything since I was in Girl Scouts, but this is such a great cause, I couldn't help but want to assist their efforts to change lives. On September 27th, I will be riding on the Carousel of Possible Dreams at South Coast Plaza to help raise funds to help fulfill a Possible Dream that will help children and families in the area. I have taken on the challenge to jump on the carousel and help my team meet its fundraising goal to make this dream a reality. With your help, my team can do it.
To make a donation, click on the Support button. Your donation will go straight to America On-Track to continue to support funding for this fantastic organization. You can donate as little or a much as you desire. Every little bit will help me reach my goal. All donations are tax deductible.
I would love any and all support anyone wants to give.
But, if you just want to look at a picture of this sweet little girl I have the privilege of hanging out with, I will let you do that too.
Isn't she so super cute?!?
Sorry. I have been busy. Lame excuse.
But, I wanted to take a minute to blog about something awesome. Yomi. She is the little girl I "mentor". Which is awesome, because ever since I got released from Young Womens at church, I miss being a teenager! And, she let's me be one again.
I recently became a member of a fantastic organization called America On-Track. It's a non-profit organization that sets up children of an incarcerated parent(s) with a mentor to help steer their lives in a better direction, as 70% of all children of prisioners end up in prisions themselves. I am a mentor (don't laugh) to the sweetest little 15-year-old girl name Yomira Martinez. She's smart and fun and I love spending time with her. Unfortunately, she hasn't had the most stable home life. I have loved being able to be a fun person for her to be around, a listening ear, and a stable consistent presence in her life.
I don't think I have fundraised for anything since I was in Girl Scouts, but this is such a great cause, I couldn't help but want to assist their efforts to change lives. On September 27th, I will be riding on the Carousel of Possible Dreams at South Coast Plaza to help raise funds to help fulfill a Possible Dream that will help children and families in the area. I have taken on the challenge to jump on the carousel and help my team meet its fundraising goal to make this dream a reality. With your help, my team can do it.
To make a donation, click on the Support button. Your donation will go straight to America On-Track to continue to support funding for this fantastic organization. You can donate as little or a much as you desire. Every little bit will help me reach my goal. All donations are tax deductible.
I would love any and all support anyone wants to give.
But, if you just want to look at a picture of this sweet little girl I have the privilege of hanging out with, I will let you do that too.
Isn't she so super cute?!?
Friday, July 13, 2012
Singer or Animal?
I got a chemical peel with Jean and Claire on Tuesday. It's not the first time, third actually.
Yet this time I am looking so crazy creepy (which is normal, I am sure I will return to my usually amount of creep soon).
I just can't decide if I look like SEAL (kiss from a rose, married... errrr... was married to Heidi Klum) or a seal (the sea animal).
If I am being honest, it's probably a mixture of both.
Yea, that's right. I am REALLY attractive right now.
My co-worker just asked me if I was embarrassed to be at work. I guess I should be. But, I am not. If SEAL can rock his face full time, I can do it for a week, right?!
Yet this time I am looking so crazy creepy (which is normal, I am sure I will return to my usually amount of creep soon).
I just can't decide if I look like SEAL (kiss from a rose, married... errrr... was married to Heidi Klum) or a seal (the sea animal).
If I am being honest, it's probably a mixture of both.
Yea, that's right. I am REALLY attractive right now.
My co-worker just asked me if I was embarrassed to be at work. I guess I should be. But, I am not. If SEAL can rock his face full time, I can do it for a week, right?!
Monday, July 9, 2012
Independence Day.
We came. We paraded. We ate tacos. We watched How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days. We beached it up (even though the weather sucked). We wore patriotic outfits (that right, there were two (2) of them). We hung out on the Love Sack. We barbecued. We watched fireworks.
And, I really only took two (2) grainy cell phone photos. But, whatev.
Good times. Good times.
And, I really only took two (2) grainy cell phone photos. But, whatev.
Friday, June 29, 2012
Meet the Andersens
Jeanette moved in with me two (2) years ago, right as Marci was getting married. She showed up one day to look at Marci's room and the next thing I knew we were friends for life. As soon as she moved in, she instantly felt like the little sister I never had. I just had this urge to want to protect her and make sure she was happy and safe. Little did I know she'd burrow her way into my heart and become one of my dearest friends.
In February she got engaged to Todd. Todd is one awesome guy! So deserving of J. And, together they make one awesome couple. The Andersens.
When J asked me to be one of her bridesmaids, I was so touched. But, don't kid yourselves, in my head i instantly thought to myself 'I guess I get to be 'the old' one', as Jeanette is almost a good decade younger than I am.
On June 1st they got married in the Salt Lake City temple. And, it was an honor and a privilege to see it all unfold and witness the happy and perfect day.
Congratulations Little J. I am so happy for you!
In February she got engaged to Todd. Todd is one awesome guy! So deserving of J. And, together they make one awesome couple. The Andersens.
When J asked me to be one of her bridesmaids, I was so touched. But, don't kid yourselves, in my head i instantly thought to myself 'I guess I get to be 'the old' one', as Jeanette is almost a good decade younger than I am.
On June 1st they got married in the Salt Lake City temple. And, it was an honor and a privilege to see it all unfold and witness the happy and perfect day.
Congratulations Little J. I am so happy for you!
Tuesday, June 26, 2012
Laws, laws, laws.
This morning as I was G-chatting, we got on a roll of talking about random laws that exist. Man, there are a lot of ridiculous laws. Seriously, ridiculous. Here are some of them:
1. Both in Carmel, CA and in Greece, it is illegal to wear high heels!
(Weird, weird, weird! And, why do we think this is? I suggested that it was to ward off trannies. But, I was told that at least for Greece, it is to preserve the integrity of the streets and structures). Stupid.
2. In Singapore, it is illegal to sell gum. And, in Mobile, AL it is illegal to chew gum, or to possess silly string or confetti. (Sad tragic laws! None of my nieces or nephews could ever visit either). Also, in Alabama, it is illegal to impersonate a member of the clergy or to wear a fake mustache to church that causes laughter. (Southerners take church quite seriously). Also, it is illegal to instigate a bear wrestling match. Stupid.
3. In Long Beach, CA you cannot swear while miniature golfing. (However, I do not think they even have a miniature golfing range in Long Beach... but I feel like it is the actually origin of most expletives). And, roosters cannot crow in public (someone should arrest the people that live across the street from where I work, so I don't kill those ridiculous roosters). Also, in L.A. it is illegal to bathe two kids in the same tub at the same time, to cry on the witness stand, or to wear/own a zoot s. Stupid.
4. IF one should come across Big Foot, he/it is not to be shot in Washington (illegal), but CAN be shot in Texas. (And, that is because anything or anyone can be shot in Texas... where they will get prosecuted... and receive the death penalty... and actually be killed instead of hanging out in jail. Texans are hard core!).
5. In Alaska, it is illegal to wake a sleeping bear for the purposes of taking a photograph. It is also illegal to push a moose out of a flying airplane. (Ridiculous animal rights activists!)
6. In Arkansas, the law permits husbands to beat their wives, but no more than once a month. (Whew). Also, teachers who cut their hair into a bob can legally be refused a raise. And, it is also illegal to keep an alligator in a bathtub. (But, why?) Stupid.
7. In Nebraska, if a kid burps in church his parents are to be arrested. And, it is illegal to sell donut holes, run around with a shaved chest or go whale watching (which is not even an option in Nebraska, right?!) Stupid.
8. In Indiana the value of Pi is 3. (They changed it. It just worked out better for them, mathematically speaking). Baths may not be taken between October and March, only during the brutally hot summer months. Also, it is illegal to pass a horse.
9. Kentucky... oh Kentucky. It is illegal for dogs to molest cars or for humans to molest trash cans, or for people to dye ducklings blue and sell them, unless they are sold in multiples of six (6), and a woman may not wear a hat without her husband's permission. Stupid.
10. Florida... in my opinion, is the craziest state in the nation. So, I feel like any law might be necessary, given what people in that state are prone to do. Nonetheless, if you park your elephant in a metered parking spot you MUST pay the toll, it is illegal to sing in a public place while wearing a bathing suit or to wear anything strapless in public, it is also illegal to engage in any sort of shenanigans with a porcupine. But, if you hit a pedestrian you will ONLY be fined $78 (so that's good!). Stupid. Florida. Stupid.
Awesome laws that most people would perceive to be ridiculous. In the state of Texas, it is illegal to hold public office of any kind without acknowledging belief in the existence of a Supreme being. (We mean business with religion in Texas!)
1. Both in Carmel, CA and in Greece, it is illegal to wear high heels!
(Weird, weird, weird! And, why do we think this is? I suggested that it was to ward off trannies. But, I was told that at least for Greece, it is to preserve the integrity of the streets and structures). Stupid.
2. In Singapore, it is illegal to sell gum. And, in Mobile, AL it is illegal to chew gum, or to possess silly string or confetti. (Sad tragic laws! None of my nieces or nephews could ever visit either). Also, in Alabama, it is illegal to impersonate a member of the clergy or to wear a fake mustache to church that causes laughter. (Southerners take church quite seriously). Also, it is illegal to instigate a bear wrestling match. Stupid.
3. In Long Beach, CA you cannot swear while miniature golfing. (However, I do not think they even have a miniature golfing range in Long Beach... but I feel like it is the actually origin of most expletives). And, roosters cannot crow in public (someone should arrest the people that live across the street from where I work, so I don't kill those ridiculous roosters). Also, in L.A. it is illegal to bathe two kids in the same tub at the same time, to cry on the witness stand, or to wear/own a zoot s. Stupid.
4. IF one should come across Big Foot, he/it is not to be shot in Washington (illegal), but CAN be shot in Texas. (And, that is because anything or anyone can be shot in Texas... where they will get prosecuted... and receive the death penalty... and actually be killed instead of hanging out in jail. Texans are hard core!).
5. In Alaska, it is illegal to wake a sleeping bear for the purposes of taking a photograph. It is also illegal to push a moose out of a flying airplane. (Ridiculous animal rights activists!)
6. In Arkansas, the law permits husbands to beat their wives, but no more than once a month. (Whew). Also, teachers who cut their hair into a bob can legally be refused a raise. And, it is also illegal to keep an alligator in a bathtub. (But, why?) Stupid.
7. In Nebraska, if a kid burps in church his parents are to be arrested. And, it is illegal to sell donut holes, run around with a shaved chest or go whale watching (which is not even an option in Nebraska, right?!) Stupid.
8. In Indiana the value of Pi is 3. (They changed it. It just worked out better for them, mathematically speaking). Baths may not be taken between October and March, only during the brutally hot summer months. Also, it is illegal to pass a horse.
9. Kentucky... oh Kentucky. It is illegal for dogs to molest cars or for humans to molest trash cans, or for people to dye ducklings blue and sell them, unless they are sold in multiples of six (6), and a woman may not wear a hat without her husband's permission. Stupid.
10. Florida... in my opinion, is the craziest state in the nation. So, I feel like any law might be necessary, given what people in that state are prone to do. Nonetheless, if you park your elephant in a metered parking spot you MUST pay the toll, it is illegal to sing in a public place while wearing a bathing suit or to wear anything strapless in public, it is also illegal to engage in any sort of shenanigans with a porcupine. But, if you hit a pedestrian you will ONLY be fined $78 (so that's good!). Stupid. Florida. Stupid.
Awesome laws that most people would perceive to be ridiculous. In the state of Texas, it is illegal to hold public office of any kind without acknowledging belief in the existence of a Supreme being. (We mean business with religion in Texas!)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)