My mom is so funny!

I swear, my mom has said some of the funniest things since I have been home visiting for Christmas. But, the best part is that she isn't even trying to be funny.

A few days ago my dad was talking to his mom on speaker phone. Apparently, in her older age her voice is getting lower. She's like 91 or something. Anyway, my mom says: "Who is that man dad is talking to?" I look at her all confused. Then she says "oh wait, that's grandma... oops."

And, then today, we are driving home from church and I am asking her about all these people she was talking to. And, I ask about this one guy who has long white hair and looks like the scientist on Back to the Future, but with a lot more girth. Anyway she tells me his name (and it turns out, I actually do know the guy), then she says (all matter-of-fact), "He is a Santa in the winter and a clown in the summer. His look easily transitions well for both." I was laughing so hard, and she said, "Well at least he has a career."

Aaaaahhhhh.... my mom is so funny!

On a side note, my 5-year-old nephew was forced to wear an argyle sweater. He looked beyond DARLING! But, for some reason he was not having it and he told us he looked "stupider than the stupidest guy ever born." Ha ha ha.

Did you know...

That the average American watches 5 hours of t.v. PER DAY!?!

Where in the world do these people come up with 5 extra hours a day??? It's not that I don't LOVE t.v., because I do! But, I barely have time to watch my dedicated weekly shows... The Office, Modern Family, GLEE etc... I swear, I don't even have time to watch t.v. for 5 hours a week... Who am I kidding, most nights I don't even get 5 hours of sleep!

That was until I came home for the holidays. Now, I think I might actually be up to the American standard. It's scary. I have to roll over every once in a while and check for bed sores. Luckily, I don't have any. Whew!

I have to say there are WAY too many channels. It's actually bothersome to have to scroll through all of them... especially since my dad subscribes to stations that play HIGH SCHOOL football even... what can I say, that man has MAD LOVE for spectating sports.

Anyhoooooo... Basically, I would like to categorize shows that I have been watching in one of two categories (overrated or underrated)... this post MAY or MAY NOT be updated during my Christmas Break depending on how much t.v. I actually watch.

Overrated

Deal or No Deal... I am sorry, but this show is boring.
Any and all talk shows... with the exception of Ellen (some days).
Any and all soap operas... with the exception of the ones that took place in the evening, like the O.C. and Gossip Girl (though the later is too sleazy to watch anymore).
That show about psychic people that have paranormal experiences... that show is just LAME!

Underrated

Hoarders... that show NEVER gets old. (My sister Kimberly also agrees).
Intervention... I MAY or MAY NOT have cried watching this yesterday. (Another Kimberly favorite)
Family Feud... I know, I am a nerd... but, we all already knew this. (Kimberly actually told me this was a low point for me!)
Parole Board... it's REALLY interesting.

Stayed tuned for more...

Christmas Photo Booth

I used to blog... before I got sick... and, before I had so much to do that I had to stay up until 2 AM most nights to get it all done. Maybe I will be better after the new year, along with all the other SIGNIFICANTLY more important things I will try to be better at in 2010. Until then, maybe I will just post some photos from time to time. I will start with these.

A very Mormon Christmas!

This is kind of funny...



Thanks Micah.

Christmas List.

My roommate Marci said that we should make Christmas lists and have Diz do her vinyl lettering on the wall with our Christmas wishes.

So far I have this:

Dear Santa, I want a husband who smells good and will give me piggy-back rides. That's all. And, like every other year, I have been TOO nice. Love, Ali

I sure hope it works this year!

That's right, my 7-year-old niece and I are looking for the same exact type of guy. I am totally comfortable admitting that.

"Douche bag Phone Call"

After a night with the girls, talking about our lives, we were all sharing our latest misadventures. I hate to admit that sometimes events from our lives inspire us to share crazy rad stories happened upon by others who are EVEN less fortunate then we are when it comes to dating. But, often they do. Last night, April comes out with her computer and plays us this clip:



I wonder if this guy is still single?!?

Hoping for the best!

As it turns out, according to my co-workers I am ALWAYS these two (2) things:

1. Cold

and

2. on a diet.

Well, I am ALWAYS cold. I have a space heater at home and a space heater at work and no matter what time of year it is, mostly they are both always on... even in the summer... when it's like 90 degrees outside. I blame this on the fact that I have very small veins and very poor circulation (a doctor told me that, I am not making it up).

And, I ALWAYS act like I am on a diet, but it never really works that way. Anytime someone walks past me with a cake of any kind, I am off the wagon. Candy gets me most days too.

But, right now, since I had TWO thanksgiving dinners (friends and other friends) and I have to fit into my fancy black tie clothes for a few banquets I am supposed to attend, I feel like I SHOULD be on a diet. And, it's like 60 degrees outside, so of course I am wearing sweaters AND have my space heater on full blast.

Anyway, this is what happened in my office today...

Ali: Oh my gosh what is that smell? And, can I have some?!?
Jackie: Brandon made popcorn. Doesn't it smell good?
Ali: Yes, can I have some?
Jackie: No, but you can have regular corn.
Ali: That's not nearly as fun.
Jackie: Well, you can put it in front of your heater and hope for the best!