Only in Utah!

So, I am in Utah for a family reunion. An extended one... the kind where there are tons of people that you are related to, but might not be able to pick out of a line up of 10 people or so. It's in Orem to be exact!

Anyway, I get in around 10 AM, my parents, brother, sister and family scheduled their flights to get in about 3 hours after mine. So, I was tasked out to get a rental car. No big deal. I am a pro at that, 10 years of business development, I could rent a car with my eyes closed. Right?!? WRONG!

So, I walk out of the SLC airport and over to the car rental area. There are about 10 rental car dealerships. One by one, I check to see about renting a car. One by one, they all say they are out of cars. Mind you, it's a WEDNESDAY morning, in August... no BYU/UofU games of any sort, no general conference, no Olympics, nothing is really going on here. TRUST ME!

Finally, when the last guy tells me they are out of cars, I ask what the possible reasoning for the total lack of cars at an airport, mid-week, in the beginning of August must be. The guy says "Well, ma'am, actually there's a really big scrapbooking conference." I laughed really hard. Until I found out he was serious. Then I laughed so hard I cried. And, then maybe I just cried without the laughing... maybe... It had been a super rough night. 3 hours of sleep mostly because I had to finish all this work and make 100 cupcakes for a YW/YM activity because the girl who signed up to do it flaked (for the 1,000th time) and then around 3, I got sick and couldn't go back to sleep! But, anyway...

So, I decided to go back to each rental car area and ask if they have any other locations, in downtown SLC, or within an hour or so drive that could rent me a car. One by one, each tells me that ALL of the rental cars ALL throughout the state are rented out! ALL of them. FOR A SCRAPBOOKING CONFERENCE!!!

After waiting in the airport for 3 hours, finally a guy tells me about this car rental place "Discount Rental" in Draper, which is like 20 minutes from the airport or so. So, I pay $15 to get shuttled out there to pick up my rental car. I end up at this double-wide trailer, actually maybe it wasn't even that big. When I get the car it's a rust-colored 1999 Chevy Cavalier with nearly 200,000 miles and NO AIR CONDITIONING and a sticker on the window that can easily be peeled off, like it's just a temporary rental car, most days it might actually be someone's everyday car. Best part - it cost $412 for 4 days. "Discount Rental"?!? I would hate to see what it costs to rent a non-discounted car from a dealer I have heard of, maybe one made in this century, with air conditioning! The best part of the whole ordeal was that when I told them I would be returning it on Sunday, the guy said "That'll be fine, you'll just park the car on the street, put the keys under the mat, lock it up and write a note that says what time you brought it back, because we aren't open on Sundays." (My cousin Stacy took a photo of it for me, since I left my camera at home, next to my toothpaste, contact solution, and a myriad of other necessities I might have otherwise remembered, had I gotten more sleep).

By this time it's been hours. I drive to get myself some Cafe Rio. The only good part of my day, thus far. And, then quickly go back to get my family. I figured my sister, who is SUPER organized already reserved a car. Nope! So, they all come out, take one look at the car and my sister asks what the deal is. And, then informs me that they didn't bother to rent a car. It's Utah nothing is going on, they figured that they would just get one when they got here. We had to make 2 trips to Orem in this car that would barely go at all! It would have been funny... on any other day, if I had gotten more sleep. By the time we all made it to Orem, it was 6 PM! What a joke!

Now, EVERYONE in my immediate family has lived in Utah... myself included. We all went to BYU, not very original, but my dad really wanted us to. We all just followed suit. And, my mom grew up here (Logan). Also, several of my closest friends are from here and many still live here! I do know that Utah has many fine qualities, as does my sister, Kimberly, who actually lived her the longest 10 years or so. But, as soon as she heard about the rental car debacle she said this: "You know, I always give Utah the benefit of the doubt, I think, it's not so bad, right?!? But, EVERY TIME I come here something that could only happen in Utah, ruins that for me. Scrapbooking conference!?!"

So, in conclusion to my diatribe I have to add the following notes:

1. If you scrapbook, I do not hate you. However, you may not want to bring it up... EVER! Or at least for a REALLY REALLY REALLY long time.

2. If you live in Utah or are from Utah, I do not hate you, nor do I hold it against you. However, I do hate your scrapbooking convention, your poor driving skills, and that ratted out ponytail thing that (a lot, but definitely not all of you - that was for you Morgs) do with your hair and all those bobbypins.

3. If you are in my family, I still have mad love for you, always will. However, if you ever plan another family reunion in happy valley, unless it's in Park City during snowboarding season, I am out!

I do want to make sure that I say to Stacy and Pierce and the Cherrington family, thanks for all the planning. Great job! You DID actually make Orem a lot more fun than I thought it could be. And, seeing the whole family was worth the trip! So THANK YOU!!! I, in no means, want to sound like an ingrate, it's not your fault there was a scrapbooking conference!