My New Side Job

I have a new side job... because clearly I am not busy enough.

I am an now an Assistant Coach... though everytime I've gchatted about it with people I keep saying I am an "Assistant Couch." (Hello, don't mind that I have a college degree in English!) Well, I guess I am both, but the latter is not a new job for me - I have always loved the couch!

Recently I began helping out my friend Sara who is the head coach for the Ocean View Swim Team in Huntington Beach. She's wanted me to help out for years, but since I used to work so far away I could never do it. This year I can. I don't get paid in cash. It's one of those "rewarding" jobs. Although occasionally I get paid in high fives, and more often than that, I get paid in the currency of teenage angst (a.k.a. eye rolls and sighs).

When I was little I was a fish! I started swimming when I was 2, joined my first club team at 5ish, and swam competitively through high school. When I was a teenager, there were days I swam twice a day for 3 hours at a time. I was a decent little swimmer. I made varsity my first year out, and went to state every year. When I got to college, I decided I was tired. I still pull out the old Speedo every once in a while, and when I do I still LOVE to swim.

So, basically, although I have never been super great at many things, I CAN swim. I can swim any stroke and any length. Like I said, by nature, I am a fish. But, besides teaching lessons in church and teaching teenage girls to put on make-up, I have never really taught much of anything. And, I don't think I am really good at teaching.

Some of the swimmers on the team are (bless their little muffin hearts) REALLY horrible. Those are the ones I get to teach. There are days I want to stand at the end of the pool and chant "Rudy, Rudy, Rudy..." But, I don't. I just smile and try to think of new ways and nice sounding ways to say "you look like a hot mess in that water kiddo!"

The other day one of the girls I was coaching looked like she was drowning. So, I turned to my friend Spils and asked. How can I constructively say "Muffin, I don't even know what you're stroke doing. Are you ok? You are not going to drown are you?". She said, it was easy and to watch her. "Listen kid, you are a weakling. You need to lift weights. I don't even think you can lift a kitten. And, you are never going to swim if you can't pull your own weight! And, you don't even weigh very much. So, go home and start lifting weights." Eeeeeekkkk. The little muffin just looked up at me. I said "but, you have a mean kick and a sweet roll when you do the butterfly."

We have our first meet tomorrow. I am pretty sure we'll get slaughtered. I am just hoping no one dies!

But, I am loving being a coach (even more than I have liked being a couch all these years)! And, the kids are so sweet. It would be tragic to lose any of them should the pool ever get the best of them.