"No need for modesty... or for closing the door while you pee!"

Today was one of my bestest friend's birthday. She let us celebrate it with her.

She is amazing! And, so is her boyfriend!

Words can't express how much I love you, Robbie! Happy Birthday!

Don't be sad... I preserved these memories just for you... so you can have them forever!

"Good Hoochie"

I don't EXACTLY know what a "Hoochie" is. All I know is that my little brother, Mark, and I used to think that was the absolute funniest word ever. And, once when he was in Vegas he found me this satirical t-shirt that was like the white-trash hybrid of Gucci and Hoochie and so basically in gold lettering it said "Hucci"...

Anyway, all of that is basically superfluous to this story, which goes like this. Today I walked into my office. Right away the receptionist looks at me and says "Wow, look at you! You look like a Hoochie!" I stared at her with my mouth agape!

I asked for clarification from my co-workers... "Catherine just called me a Hoochie! What is a Hoochie?!?!?" Since my nieces now read this blog on a regular basis, I won't repeat the definitions I was given. But, it was not pretty. I would basically say any term you would expect someone from a trailer park to call the girl who stole their man from them on "Cheaters" was mentioned.

The best part is this... I am wearing an white knee-length eyelet dress and a dark denim jacket...

So, I ask you, what EXACTLY about this outfit says "I am a Hoochie"?!? I swear, it looks like I just fell out of the GAP!

Jackie suggested that maybe it was the shoes!

Please note, after my stunned and puzzled reaction to Catherine's "compliment", she later tried to backpeddle by saying "I meant that in a good way, you look like a good Hoochie!" (Good Hoochie seems a bit oxymoronic to me!?!?!)

MZT's answer to homelessness! - Part 2...

I am having a lot of Dunder Mifflin moments at my new job.

Dear Bryan,

That last plan, kind of backfired.

Who knew?!? I thought he'd just scoot down to the free area between the trees...

Wrong again!

Oh well, it's probably better to just snuggle up to the cactus!?!

Love, Ali

P.S. I will have you all know that the homeless man whistled at me twice today! Yes! I am pretty sure the fact that I didn't shower contributed to his excitement in seeing him. Perhaps we are in the same league!?!

P.S.S. A lady in my office said this to me "your cheetah print shirt makes me want to growl at you." (I told her to have at it then)... I just wanted you all to get a visual of how brutally attractive I look today!

MZT's answer to homelessness!

So, since my office is in the GHETTO... we have a lot of homeless people hanging around.

And, I am not going to lie, I kind of dig some of them.

There is this one guy, who tells me everyday (when I cross the street to buy cokes) how pretty I am. At least that's what I think he is getting at... he NEVER actually formulates a whole sentence and he is missing a lot of teeth and he is always sleeping with a cigarette in his hand... basically, he's a hot mess! A big hot mess.

He sleeps in the shady part of the side of our property, between a few trees. Apparently my boss was over him.

So, this was his solution!

I can't be certain, but, I am pretty sure the homeless guy will just move to the open spot between the two adjacent trees.

But, I could be wrong!

I just think maybe we should have spaced out the cacti!

AND, I told the guys in the office if they were going to rid the premises of all my suitors, they would have to kick up the compliments or at least grunt at me every once in a while.

One of the guys mumbled something about me maybe looking better from the ground up and another said something about sexual harrassment.

Why can't I get ANYONE to do what I want!

Sounds like a threat to me!!!

So, my sweet sweet nieces figured out that a.) blogs exist; b.) I have one and c.) they have the ability and skills required to post comments on it! (I am not going to lie, I find this amazing, since they are 8-soon-to-be-9 and 7 years old.)

So they have been posting comments all day long... and it's cute, and it makes me smile... except I think it MAY have just gotten ugly, but you tell me what you think!?!

Preface: My niece Chloe will be 9 tomorrow. So, I called her on Saturday, while I was at Target, to ask her what I could buy her for her birthday. I was so determined to actually get her a gift before her birthday came and went (no luck there Chloe Beth, but it's on it's way, I promise). Anyway, she tells me that her little heart wants what is called an E-pet. I believe that I bought her and E-pet for her last birthday, but apparently she wants another one. No biggie, they are pretty inexpensive. So, of course I agreed. How else am I going to keep the best aunt ever status?!? Then Olivia gets on the phone and says that I can't buy Chloe another E-pet because she'll have 2 and Olivia will only have 1. She pleaded a good case, but I told her that I would buy her one on her birthday, which is February and CLEARLY that will not do! Chloe would have an additional E-pet for 8 months longer than she wouldl! It was just an injustice of the grandest proportion!!! Olivia basically hung up on me and she was in a funk!

Now, on to the dialog posted in the comments of various posts on my blog throughout the last few days:

Olivia: i love you ali and just so you know this is olivia your niece. i love your blog so much!!

Chloe: I love you Ali! And this is Chloe your other niece. LOL! I love your blog! (mostly because we are in it) LOL! Your the best aunt ever! And we had so much fun with you!

Me: What could be better than my 8-year-old niece typing LOL!?!

Olivia: ali this is olivia again how can you post a comment on your own blog??? i can't believe you can i miss you very much (not just your gum but you also LOL LOL LOL) did you see that i love you p.s chloe's birthday is tomorrow!!!!!!!!!

Me: Livy Kate! I can do all sorts of amazing things... commenting on my own blog is only one of them! LOL! I love you too. I miss you guys! And, I totally know it's Chloe's birthday! I am super excited, even though I don't get to be there! :( But, I will call her, and hopefully, I can talk to you too, what do you say?!?

Olivia: i say yes you can talk to me but i need to know one thing are you getting chloe an epet?????

OH MY... YIKES... I am pretty sure I am toast... How do I keep my favorite aunt status with both of them?!?

Especially since it was already in jeopardy apparently... because Chloe later posted this:

Chloe: I know I wrote to you yesterday, but I just couldn't resist! You are my one of my favorite aunts after all. Anyway, just wanted to say hello and thanks for going on the trip with us! (P.S You are the best aunt in the world!) ( P.S.S Just so you know, this is Chloe)

DEAREST CHLOE... let's talk "You are one of my favorite aunts after all?!?" ONE OF??? Who else buys you every flavor of gum your heart ever desired?!? NO ONE!!! Have any of your other aunts ever bought you an E-pet? Or a webkin? (Because I have bought you both!!!) I must know who else is even in the running!?! (Not that you aren't awesome Julie, Jennica and whoever is on the other side of the family, but come on!!! I have been working on this for nearly 9 years!!!)

Chloe?!? "One of your favorite aunts?!?" I better be your VERY VERY VERY favorite aunt! Does that sound like a threat... good!

And, if that doesn't work, your E-pet is in the mail! (Sorry Livvy Kate!) Happy Birthday pretty girl! I sure do love you!

I guess, I can't win them all!!! But, I am going to keep trying.

Family History via Blog?!?

I don't know who started this.

I think it must have been my cousin Stacy.

http://brinkerhoffhistory.blogspot.com/

But, I LOVE everything about this blog!

But, my two favorite things are this:

1. My almost 90-year-old Grandma spends her ENTIRE day reading PEOPLE magazine and the Ensign! G, I am SO your grandaughter! And, watches T.V. too. Sounds like the perfect life!!! Except, maybe someone should show her how to use the internet!!! (Don't pick me, though)!

and

2. I love the history and the photos! I so look like my dad's parents (but, I already knew that)!

Week in Review (Photo Style) Mostly!

First there was Casino-Day at the Office! My boss won the Entrepreneur of the year award from the Small Business Administration District for a 4-state area. It was a big deal, so we got to have the day off on Thursday to attend the award ceremony and have a little fun at the casino. Not a bad way to get paid, if you ask me.

Friday Diz, Marci and I went to San Onofre to go surfing. So, none of us are very good, yet. But, we are all trying and having a blast. And, I think by the end of the summer, we will all be surfers yet!

Then we made a long trek to IHOP (because although, I maybe shouldn't admit this, I have MAD love for IHOP). We had way too much fun there, probably because it was late and we were all spent. Ever the fashionista, I wore this really rad ensamble! What, it was cold! Helaman was really concerned that I was wearing this in public. But, I tried to argue that IHOP wasn't really "public" especially the one we went to... it was in the middle of nowhere, Mission Viejo.

Saturday was the Bridal shower for Melissa Stiles (soon-to-be-Rowland). It was so much fun. And, who had any idea our backyard could look so good!

Then off to do make-up and hair for prom for my favorite Laurels. Aren't they just precious!?! I think they might be the cutest things ever... well aside from babies of course.

This is the part where the pictures stop. I took my camera to the Newport Dunes, where a whole bunch us got together to watch The Sandlot, which I forgot was a pretty funny movie. I actually took the camera, I pulled it out to take photos when Diz, Marci and I started the bike ride there (which ended up being 20 miles uphill in the snow... ok, minus the snow). Marci and Diz were talking and biking, until we hit the first hill, when I pulled out the camera, the battery died... oh well. It was super fun... until the movie was over, and we had to bike home! But, we must have already forgotten about the painful parts of the ride, we are already talking about doing it again!