The "other" woman...

I came in to work yesterday morning (after spending the last 4 days in NYC) and I was immediately pounced on with various and sundry tasks (seemingly of little importance, but still necessary and apparently too trivial for the men to take care of).

In the middle of receiving questions and instructions from several of the guys, the other Director came in and asked me if I wore make-up. He was serious and clearly distraught. I almost laughed because I was so not picking up whatever he was putting down. I thought for sure I was being teased about that ONE day last week when I forgot my make-up bag after Shahana (I am now 98% sure that's my personal trainer's name) worked the living ... out of me. I didn't answer him. I just cocked my head and stared at him quizzically. He told me it was important that he figure this out. I asked what he was talking about.

Then he explained. As it turns out, no one in my company ACTUALLY wants to work. They like to do "P.R." But, it isn't technically "P.R." in my office unless you can get rip roaring drunk. If it's networking to actually get work without getting sloshed, I get sent to take care of it. So, a few weeks ago, I had to go with Clint (the other Director) to this ridiculously boring meeting in L.A. He drove. Turns out the make-up powder compact that I keep in my purse fell out in his car. Last weekend he found it. He took it into his wife and told her that he found her make-up. Uh-oh. She quickly told him it wasn’t hers. In his words, the whole episode “ruined his night.” So, Clint got nervous and came into work yesterday and asked Joe if he thought the powder was mine. And, Joe said "no, she doesn't really wear make-up." What?!? What does he mean I don't wear make-up? I apologized to Clint and then totally innerved walked into Joe's office and asked what he was talking about!
Ali: Joe, why did you tell Clint I don't wear make-up?
Joe: You don't, do you?
Ali: Joe! Are you kidding?
Joe: No, come here, let me see.
Ali: Joe! This is me, WITH make-up! This is as good as it gets for me! This is the best I can look! You SO don't want to see me without make-up. I can't believe you!
Joe: What?!? I wasn’t saying… um… you look good.
Ali: Whatever!

(I also think Joe told Clint this to confess to him something that may or may not be going on. I think he was trying to assuage his own conscience - or find it, given his propensity for infidelity.)

It's been a rough month for me here! I wish the HR girl hadn't made the guys take that sexual harassment class. I had WAY more self-esteem before that blasted class!

So later on, Clint calls me into his office and said that the first part of the story was that he found the compact, but even more entertaining was his continued conversation with Joe about the said episode.

Clint: Want to hear something funny. When I told Joe that the make-up HAD to be yours, he asked me if I was having an affair with you! He seemed a little surprised and ticked off. Isn't that funny?
Ali: The thought of me having an affair with you. Yes, that's WAY funny.
Clint: What is that supposed to mean???
Payback is kind of fun. I love being evasive!