Who is this guy?!?

Sanjaya Malakar?!?







At least I think he's a guy?!?

I could care less what he has done to his hair for the last some-odd weeks!

I am WAY more concerned with what he/she has done to my mom!

I, like Alexander - and most other people in the world, occasionally have a "terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day". It doesn't happen often, but when it does, I call my mom. Well, first I call my roommate Cori, who tells me basically that I can leap tall buildings in a single bound. Then I call my mom. She gives it to me straight, even though I almost undoubtedly always like Cori's feedback better. She's my mom. And, so I call and I listen.

But, lately she's been REALLY off.

So, just the other day, I called her for advise and to make me feel better, (Cori was out-of-town) and this is basically what she said, "At least you're not crippled*. I have to go now, American Idol is on again, that's what dad and I do for Family Home Evening**."

What the...??? How the...??? Who the...??? Who would chose a he/she (especially one whose greatest aspiration is "to become witty" and apparently conjure up a different style for his coif every week) over their own child?!? When is this show over??? Where is Ryan Seacrest when I really need him??? Can someone please put an end to this madness!?!

Don't get me wrong, my mom, she's one of the greatest things God ever created. She's fabulous!

But, just in case I ever change my mind, does anyone know where I would order one of those moms who would willingly Tanya-Harding the whole cheerleading team, just to procure an opening on the squad for her daughter?

*Note 1: I, in no way, want to sound like an ingrate here or to sound unsympathetic to the plight of those who are physically (or mentally) challenged. Please note, I am in deed grateful for the use of my limbs, and on most days, my mind.

**Note 2: I haven't attended lately, but correct me if I am wrong, I thought F'n HE was only on Mondays?!? Not Tuesdays and Wednesdays or whenever it is that show airs. (I am too busy with more quality shows like "The Hills", "The Bachelor, An Officer and a Gentlemen-caller" and my newest passion "Paradise City"- the epitome of drama and white-trash entertainment, to even care about the likes of "American Idol"!)