To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Some People are so Weird!

Last week I had to take a break from watching the Kardashians (because sometimes they are just too much, but mainly, I think I've seen them all.) And, so I came home one night and sat on the couch in my stinky running clothes, captivated (and also too lazy to move) watching the show "My Strange Addictions", which is awesome.

I don't know when or why I stopped posting about my own life and started posting things I find fascinating, but make no mistake - (1) when I get a life, I will start talking more about it and (2) these people make my normal mundane life(style) seem extraordinarily laudable. And for that, I love each and every one of them.

This is Adele. She has eaten 7 couches and 2 chairs. "The darker the cushion... the better the flavor." - Bless her heart!

This is Lauren. She only has time for fur. Bless her heart!

I am not sure what this dude's name is. But, his girlfriend's name is Shechon. "Shechon likes footrubs." She's the perfect girlfriend?!? But, don't worry, this dude's already planning to cheat on her. What is with dudes?!?

This lady eats pottery and when she needs to mix it up, cigarette ashes. Do you think this is a gluten-free diet?

This is Cyntrelle. And, with the exception of her name, I can't find anything wrong with her. I would like her to move in with me!

I also don't find anything wrong with this dude. And, I would LOVE to sit next to him on a plane. So, I don't see what the big deal is. He's from Florida... so...

Thursday, June 9, 2011

Hunger Games

Any of you read that book, The Hunger Games? I read most of it, then I got distracted, because I am totally like that. And, so I think I have a few chapters left. But, anyway. It's pretty good, because it LUDICRIS? Or is it???

This guy doesn't think so.

Jaron sent this to me today. Lately he is my most constant form of true entertainment. He finds the raddest stuff. I am pretty sure he spends his days reading magazine articles from across the globe. Plus, he's a Socialist. So, as you can imagine he's VERY entertaining. Honestly, read it. It's rad... a guy who wants to play chicken with a lion = Awesome! I love how the interviewer is totally making fun of the dude, and he of "superior" intelligence, doesn't even realize it.

As, I read this little interview, I was reminded of the time when Brad Maza and I were driving in his car to play racquetball. And, his mom called and the conversation went something like this...

Brad's Mom: Hi honey, I was calling to ask you if you heard about Sigmond and Floyd?
Brad: Who are Sigmond and Floyd?
Brad's Mom: Those boys down in Vegas. The ones that play with the cats. One of them gotten eaten today!
Brad: You mean, Siegfried and Roy?!?

That conversation has had me laughing for years now. But, then again, maybe I am just really easily amused.

Monday, June 6, 2011

Dear Male Senator(s), Athletes....

... and all men in general,

Should you feel inclined to take a photograph of anything and send it to any lady or ladies, these are photos we as ladies are cool looking at:

1. photos of diamonds or other jewelry
2. photos of flowers
3. photos of your grandparents, parents, friends, kids, nieces, newphews, etc.
4. photos of your dog
5. photos of your bank statements
6. photos of your six-pack, but only if you have one.
7. If, and only if, you have to take a photo of SOMETHING, you can send a photo of your latest meal OR some awesome car, but please do this sparingly, because seriously, we don't care AT ALL. But, at least it's not offensive.

And, these are photos we have LESS THAN ZERO interest in seeing:

1. Photos of anything or anyone that may have died or been really injured.
2. Photos of some injury or illness in which you are about to self-operate or cure.
3. Photos of anyone's cat.
4. Photos of people who have fallen asleep - this is only interesting to men.
5. photos of other girls you might find hot
6. photos of ANY kind of bowel movement.
7. Photos of your junk. - Serious NO ONE wants to see this. NO ONE. Trust me, I took a poll.

*** Please note, this opinion is not solely mine, but reflects the views of all NORMAL women. So take note.

Thursday, June 2, 2011

Random Ramblings

A few years back I was singing in my office. This guy I work with, Jonathan, walks by and tells me that there is no way I am ever going to make it on American Idol. And, so I said to him "why, I am really bad?" and his reply was "yes, you are. Plus, you're too old." And, that's why I love working in a male-dominated industry. They keep me humble.

I bring up this little memory because lately I have been thinking about how quickly I would get kicked off the Biggest Loser (assuming they would let me on it). Diz and I used to pour ourselves ginormous bowls of cereal and sit in our workout clothes watching the show, and talk about how we wanted to go on the show for just 1 week. Basically, in support of my theory I would like to point out that in the past 2 1/2 weeks I have run 66 miles and swam 17. Want to know how much weight I lost? 3 pounds. That's it. 3 stinkin' pounds. All I do is exercise!?! Basically, I would be the worst person ever on the Biggest Loser.

Also, I have not had a diet coke (or any other caffeinated beverages) for 33 days. So, I feel as if someone should give me a gold coin. And, if that coin happens to be made of chocolate, I won't be mad.

See, I am pretty sure it's statements like that last one that are keeping me out of the Biggest Loser. Sigh...