To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Friday, September 25, 2009

Friday, September 18, 2009

A glowing endorsement

The receptionist at my office (the one who called me "a good hoochie") said this to me this morning:

"Who could NOT like you? I can't imagine anyone NOT liking you. You are like Mr. Rogers."

Como what?!?

I think it might be the cardigan that threw her off!

Friday, September 11, 2009

Eunice... My Newest Moniker

APPARENTLY, I am not an athletic purest...

Because, personally, I think the hermaphrodite should be able to keep her... errr... his metal or trophy or whatever it is the she-man won for being able to run RIDICULOUSLY fast.

And, the 2nd and 3rd place runners should be fine with that... because they too are really fast AND they get to keep their identifying genders, which is a far greater victory than beating the world record by 2 and 1/2 seconds, only to find out you are not what you thought you were.

I mean, come on... it's got to suck enough to find out that all the time you've been thinking you were just a really not-so-feminine looking chic, you were actually not a chic at all... and then again... not a dude either. So, although all you know is that you can run fast, and you are really good at that! Too bad. Go directly to jail. Do not pass Go. Do not collect $200... or your trophy... or your 1st place title. Sorry, you won't be able to do anything with your speed because the sporting world can't figure out what to do with you.

I tried to find a few reasons why being a hermaphrodite wouldn't suck. This is what I came up with:

1. You can use both the girls and the boys public restrooms.
2. Banana Slugs, Snails and Clownfish feel your pain.
3. The term Hermaphrodite stems from both Greek Legends Hermes (Messenger of the gods) and Aphrodite (Goddess of love and beauty and sexual desire).
4. Jamie Lee Curtis MIGHT be one too…

But, the truth is, there is NO way around it... seriously, it would suck.

I am on Team Hermaphrodite!

My newest goal in life: Campaigning for Hermaphrodite sports!

Just call me the Eunice Kennedy Shriver of Hermaphrodite Athletics... I mean, you might as well... Jackie has been calling me "Eunice" all day. She has also been taking a poll "hermaphrodite-defender" or "athletic purest".

Team Hermaphrodite - 2

Team Athletic Purist - 2

I am too afraid to ask anyone else that works here... I am pretty sure they all already think I am weird, this would REALLY do me in.

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

My Newest Styling Tip

Anyone who really knows me, knows that I have an absurd amount of shoes and clothes. So, one might assume I am quite into fashion. And, I am, in theory. But, in practice, I am just too lazy.

Most days I spend about 30 minutes getting ready, 15 - if I don't choose to shower. So, basically my fashion/style is derived from a lazy place. My newest styling tip is, of course, spawn out of laziness.

TIP: If you don't want to do your hair, just purchase a lot of different hair accessories and stick one of them someplace on your head! It's my latest thing.

Enter Anthropologie, H&M and Forever 21...

Time Spent on hair - Approximately 45 seconds!

P.S. Trust me, I DO realize I might look better if I ACTUALLY did my hair, but for now, this will have to do!

Sunday, September 6, 2009

Saturday, September 5, 2009

This should be getting easier...

and I should be getting better right?!?

What am I talking about???

Marathon training. What else?!? I know it's all I talk about these days. It does FEEL like it may be the bane of my existence. But, after the middle of October, I PROMISE to talking about something new!

But, until then, let's review:

San Diego Marathon Training (Marathon #1) - 4 years ago
My Saturdays were like this... run for hours and hours, go home and eat like a truck-driver, take a shower, take a nap and get ready for the day.

# of pairs shoes I went through - 3.
# of toenails that fell off during training - 4.
# of times I got pedicures to make myself feel better about the sorry state of my feet - 12.
# of pounds I lost in training - about 10-ish.
# of times I got sunburned during my morning runs - 0.
# of songs I downloaded from iTunes hoping it would make me run faster - about 50.
# of times I wanted to quit before I even started the race - about 1o.

Chicago Marathon Training (Marathon #3) - 5 weeks from now
My Saturdays are like this... run for hours and hours, go home and eat like a truck-driver, take a shower, take a nap, eat like a truck-driver AGAIN, take ANOTHER nap and get ready for the day... oh wait, I mean NIGHT.

# of pairs of shoes I have used so far - 4.
# of toenails that have fallen off during training - 0.
# of times I have gone to get pedicures to make myself feel better about the sorry state of my feet - 0. (They are just UGLY, and I am ok with it).
# of pounds I have lost in training - about none-ish.
# of times I have been sunburned during my morning runs - 3, so far (and I have never gotten home after 10 AM)!
# of songs I have downloaded from iTunes hoping it would make me run faster - about 50.
#of times I have wanted to quit - about 100x EVERY SINGLE SATURDAY during my long runs.

If we ONLY take into account the number of toenails I have been able to retain, I am getting a lot better at this marathon training.

But, if we take into account all the other factors... NOT SO MUCH!

Can I blame it on the fact that it's so bloody hot here and between 65% - 75% humidity? - Yea, I didn't think so.

Thursday, September 3, 2009

My new favorite past time...

Ever since TMZ ONLY has eyes for Michael Jackson, I have been a little bit bored.

Until I happened upon this RAD website:

I have not been bored since!