To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Friday, June 29, 2007

Again... am I supposed to be flattered or offended???

My life is one quasi-flattering/quasi-insulting statement after another, day in and day out. This week at my office, Jonathan said to me "nice hair, but ever since you got your hair cut, you seem a lot more confused!"

What??? - Apparently, with my old haircut, I might have understood what he meant by that.

So, it happened again today. I got another one of those statements that was the 2-edged sword of compliments, which CLEARLY are the only compliments I get.

Here's what happened. In an effort to take back my soul from "the man", I left my office a 2 PM today! It was fabulous! Robin and I put on workout clothes and attempted to go for a walk. I am convinced we might have gone farther than 2 blocks if it weren't so bloody hot! So, we canned the walk and headed to "Modern Nails" for pedicures. On the way out of the salon, I was trying to get into my car and there were these hoodlums standing there blocking my car door, I said pardon and a hoodlum said, "oh, no worries, don't trip," (Why thank you, how considerate of you to let me get in my car). It was a process just to get in. But, once we sat down Robin noticed she had taken the towel from the nail salon, she looked down at the foam florescent flip flops she was wearing and decided that it would take her forever to return the towel. So, me and my mile-long legs volunteered to run Honest Abe's towel back into the salon. I was gone for about 30 seconds and as I was returning, the hoodlums (2 girls and 2 guys) were driving off, so I didn't have to "trip" in order to get in my car whew. I get in the car and here's what happened...

Robin: Do you know what a M.I.L.F. is?
Ali: Yea, my brother told me what it meant once. Why would you all the sudden ask me that?
Robin: Well that girl who was with those little punks tapped on the window and said 'your mom is a M.I.L.F.'
Ali: Does she know your mom?
Robin: She asked if YOU were my mom.
Ali: The GIRL said that?!?
Robin: Yea, and I kept asking her what she was saying and she repeated it like 10 times M-I-L-F.
Ali: Well that sucks for me. Your mom? I am only 2 years older than you!?!
Robin: What's a M.I.L.F.???
Ali: So, the GIRL said I was a M.I.L.F.?
Robin: YES. What's a M.I.L.F.???
Ali: Mother I'd like to F.... you can figure it out from there right?
Robin: Oooooohhhhhhh... well, why didn't she think I was a M.I.L.F.?
Ali: Apparently, you don't look good for being in your 40s or 50s, like I do. And it was a SHE. Don't be offended! That's my right.
Robin: At least SHE was attracted to you.


Seymour Glass said...

first, maybe a lot of these problems with poorly delivered compliments comes from the people you're around at work.

second, robin is really that naive? how cute.

and third, i think they thought you were momish because you said "pardon" instead of "excuse me." perhaps i'm wrong, but it seems to me that "excuse me" is much more prevalent (not that it's more correct or anything, just more prevalent).

The last Unicorn said...

Well I have seen Robin in her work out gear and I wouldn't doubt that she could pass for a 13 year old. So it might still be a compliment in the end. On another note... I had called Robin earlier that day because I wanted to go to modern nails for pedi's around 2pm, but she was still heading home from work in traffic. Looks like my timing was off. To think I could have been there to witness the MILF event firsthand... bummer!

Rodrigo said...

Oi, achei teu blog pelo google tá bem interessante gostei desse post. Quando der dá uma passada pelo meu blog, é sobre camisetas personalizadas, mostra passo a passo como criar uma camiseta personalizada bem maneira. Até mais.

Ali B. said...

Anyone have any clue what Rodrigo said. At first I thought it was Spanish, but I ruled that out when I called over a Spanish-speaker in my office and he said he had no clue... so I am going with Portuguese and it seems to me like this guy has a lot to say about my hair... Figures!

Anonymous said...

Ali- this is a rough translation of what rodrigo said--Oi, I found yours blog for google the well interesting one I liked this post to you. When to give of the one passed by mine blog, is on personalized t-shirts, it shows step by step as to create one personalized t-shirt well way. Until more.

July 2, 2007 4:53 AM

Ali B. said...

"Anonymous" - was that in deed Portuguese? Pelo in Spanish means hair, CLEARLY not so in whatever language this is. Thanks for the translation... is it sad that I may have understood it better in a foreign language? Why does everyone try to sell me stuff???

f*bomb. said...

He probably read, "Mom," and "2pm pedicure" and assumed you were a wealthy woman of leisure who would want to buy shirts. Shirts with hair on them...Perhaps?

I find it very disturbing that SHE was the one attracted to you. But if you ever hear that from a teenaged boy, it is ALWAYS a compliment. No matter what your age. Teenaged boys are only caring about ONE THING and ONE THING ONLY. So that means if he likes you, it's purely for the hot factor. Hint: it's NOT your pedicure.

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