My life is one quasi-flattering/quasi-insulting statement after another, day in and day out. This week at my office, Jonathan said to me "nice hair, but ever since you got your hair cut, you seem a lot more confused!"
What??? - Apparently, with my old haircut, I might have understood what he meant by that.
So, it happened again today. I got another one of those statements that was the 2-edged sword of compliments, which CLEARLY are the only compliments I get.
Here's what happened. In an effort to take back my soul from "the man", I left my office a 2 PM today! It was fabulous! Robin and I put on workout clothes and attempted to go for a walk. I am convinced we might have gone farther than 2 blocks if it weren't so bloody hot! So, we canned the walk and headed to "Modern Nails" for pedicures. On the way out of the salon, I was trying to get into my car and there were these hoodlums standing there blocking my car door, I said pardon and a hoodlum said, "oh, no worries, don't trip," (Why thank you, how considerate of you to let me get in my car). It was a process just to get in. But, once we sat down Robin noticed she had taken the towel from the nail salon, she looked down at the foam florescent flip flops she was wearing and decided that it would take her forever to return the towel. So, me and my mile-long legs volunteered to run Honest Abe's towel back into the salon. I was gone for about 30 seconds and as I was returning, the hoodlums (2 girls and 2 guys) were driving off, so I didn't have to "trip" in order to get in my car whew. I get in the car and here's what happened...
Robin: Do you know what a M.I.L.F. is?
Ali: Yea, my brother told me what it meant once. Why would you all the sudden ask me that?
Robin: Well that girl who was with those little punks tapped on the window and said 'your mom is a M.I.L.F.'
Ali: Does she know your mom?
Robin: She asked if YOU were my mom.
Ali: The GIRL said that?!?
Robin: Yea, and I kept asking her what she was saying and she repeated it like 10 times M-I-L-F.
Ali: Well that sucks for me. Your mom? I am only 2 years older than you!?!
Robin: What's a M.I.L.F.???
Ali: So, the GIRL said I was a M.I.L.F.?
Robin: YES. What's a M.I.L.F.???
Ali: Mother I'd like to F.... you can figure it out from there right?
Robin: Oooooohhhhhhh... well, why didn't she think I was a M.I.L.F.?
Ali: Apparently, you don't look good for being in your 40s or 50s, like I do. And it was a SHE. Don't be offended! That's my right.
Robin: At least SHE was attracted to you.