To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Monday, August 25, 2008

My Oompa Loompa Weekend...

When I was in 6th grade my mom put me in this theatrical summer camp... which was such a joke, because I am about as tone-deaf as they come and I couldn't dance my way out of a bag, plus I have never really had any thespian aspirations. But, I went to camp anyway, with my baby brother, Mark. At the end of the summer we were in the play Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. I was an Oompa Loompa, which was extremely awkward for me because even in the 6th grade I was tall, I've been (almost) 5'9 since I was like 13. And, from what I recall Oompa Loompas were midgets, right? Anywhoosers (that was for you Amanda), that's all beside the point... this is the point - I had to wear orange paint all over my body. Yet, I still maintain that even though I was the tallest Oompa Loompa EVER, I was still way less orange for that play then I was for my entire weekend in Vegas. (Let the pictures serve as photographic evidence).

Luckily, I have showered 7 times in the past 60 hours and I would like to report that I am a far less tangerine-shade of orange. Whew.

Here's what happened. Joe (THE BEST BOSS EVER - although he DID make me fix his Ipod for the better part of the morning, as if I didn't have anything else to do!) sent me and the 5 other girls that work for RCI to Vegas for an all-expense paid weekend. It was AMAZING! It turns out that even in 100 degree weather, Vegas is a whole lot of fun on someone else's dime!

We stayed at the Wynn... Oh my... the Wynn is so DIVINE. They even put my name on the key. But, it did cost $5 for every diet coke I drank, I think Joe spent $20 on those for me (thanks Joe). The beds were so comfortable. And, the restaurants there were so good!

I flew in from Orange County on Friday morning and checked into the spa. Joe gave us the day off (kind of... the man called me about 6x, I had to check in after ever treatment I got), though it was still worth it. This is where the Oompa-Loompafication took place. It was so awkward. I was standing there, buck naked, while some young girl, in essence, spray painted me while trying to carry on a conversation. And, in the end voile... I turned orange (for the bargain price of $120 - thanks Joe!)

Later that night we went to Cirque de Soleil's O... it was good... and then creepy... and then good again. Those circus performers sure are bendy!

Then we went to dinner at yellowtail, a sushi restaurant in the Bellagio. It was good, but I got a kink in my neck from craning it to watch the fountain go off every 15 minutes for about 2 1/2 hours straight.

After which we went to a club. Blush. And, we saw Shar Jackson celebrating her birthday (she is apparently famous, for apparently being married to or linked to K-Fed, but I haven't checked on the validity of that and I had no idea who she was!) The girls got pretty drunk and we all danced on a ledge behind the bar. Everyone stayed until 4 AM, except me, I was done at 2:30. And, the beds at the Wynn were to die for divine, they were calling my name.

The next day was filled with eating (at the Wynn Buffet) and shopping at the Forum Shops. I bought the cutest new Kate Spade sunglasses and a few tops, but I still have about half my $ left, basically because there wasn't an Anthropologie in Vegas AND because I need more clothes like I need a hole in the head.

Then we went to Mama Mia which was SO much better than the movie. It was really funny. We took a cab to the Venetian to eat at Delmonicos, where we wasted about 1/2 a cow. My co-worker Michelle ordered a 32 Oz. steak and she only weighs about 64 Oz herself, so... We managed to get in a fight with our Jamaican taxi cab driver on the way there, he told us to get out!

The next day we had breakfast on the pool terrace. And, then we went to bet the money that Joe gave us. He told Michelle to bet $100 on black and me on red. I wanted to bet it at the same time, since basically he was just throwing away money anyway and that way he'd come out at least even. But, we didn't. I lost Joe's money. Michelle won $200. We took $100 and started playing Craps with it. Mind you, I wouldn't gamble with my own money, but with someone else's it was kind of fun! So, at the craps table, I was rolling and a guy was playing the field and won over $30,000 on my rolls. After which he came up and gave my 2 $500 chips. We cashed in, gave Joe back his $100 and split the other $900. Basically, the only time I ever win money in Vegas is when some old man gives it to me at the craps table (right Kathie and Sara???) Honestly, I was given $900 by another old man a few years back. Why is it that old men can't hold onto their money and I have no problem taking it?

All in all, it was such a fun weekend and I charmed my way into just enough money to buy me a new surfboard... I will always think of that blessed old pervy man when I ride it!

And, not to rub it all in anyone's face, but my boss paid for EVERYTHING. Isn't he so wonderful!?! It makes my job as his personal slave and dictionary SO worth it!


The last Unicorn said...

OK... you don't look THAT orange. If that is the worst thing you come home with after an all expensed paid trip to Vegas, I will take it! You even MADE money on this vacation! Is your boss hiring Pilates instructors anytime soon? I AM jealous.

Aubrey said...

Lets trade jobs. PLEASE!

Kari said...

Uhhh can you please get me a job where you work? I can be an editor! Or YOUR assistant. :)

melissa said...

i can not believe your weekend... you looked so cute in all of your pics. I would love love to meet for lunch, please let me know when you will be in town, it would be so fun! As for you blog... ha ha, honestly I got so much inspiration after seeing yours and Niki's that I decided to put something together.. I have a lot of catch up to do and a lot of writing, but thanks for commenting on my first draft! :)

Amanda said...

Well, I am pretty jealous, but so so glad you got to have such a great time. You really don't look all that orange.

Ali B. said...

I love you all for saying that I don't look THAT orange... but, you're lying... my mom told me today that she looked at the blog and told me I look ridiculous. Moms are always honest.

And Kari, I PROMISE you, you do NOT want to be my assistant, I am so disorganized!