To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Tuesday, June 26, 2012

Laws, laws, laws.

This morning as I was G-chatting, we got on a roll of talking about random laws that exist.  Man, there are a lot of ridiculous laws.  Seriously, ridiculous. Here are some of them:

1. Both in Carmel, CA and in Greece, it is illegal to wear high heels! 
(Weird, weird, weird! And, why do we think this is?  I suggested that it was to ward off trannies.  But, I was told that at least for Greece, it is to preserve the integrity of the streets and structures). Stupid.

2. In Singapore, it is illegal to sell gum.  And, in Mobile, AL it is illegal to chew gum, or to possess silly string or confetti.  (Sad tragic laws!  None of my nieces or nephews could ever visit either). Also, in Alabama, it is illegal to impersonate a member of the clergy or to wear a fake mustache to church that causes laughter.  (Southerners take church quite seriously).  Also, it is illegal to instigate a bear wrestling match.  Stupid.

3. In Long Beach, CA you cannot swear while miniature golfing.  (However, I do not think they even have a miniature golfing range in Long Beach... but I feel like it is the actually origin of most expletives).  And, roosters cannot crow in public (someone should arrest the people that live across the street from where I work, so I don't kill those ridiculous roosters).  Also, in L.A. it is illegal to bathe two kids in the same tub at the same time, to cry on the witness stand, or to wear/own a zoot s.  Stupid.

4.  IF one should come across Big Foot, he/it is not to be shot in Washington (illegal), but CAN be shot in Texas.  (And, that is because anything or anyone can be shot in Texas... where they will get prosecuted... and receive the death penalty... and actually be killed instead of hanging out in jail.  Texans are hard core!).

5. In Alaska, it is illegal to wake a sleeping bear for the purposes of taking a photograph.  It is also illegal to push a moose out of a flying airplane. (Ridiculous animal rights activists!)

6. In Arkansas, the law permits husbands to beat their wives, but no more than once a month. (Whew).  Also, teachers who cut their hair into a bob can legally be refused a raise.  And, it is also illegal to keep an alligator in a bathtub. (But, why?) Stupid.

7. In Nebraska, if a kid burps in church his parents are to be arrested.  And, it is illegal to sell donut holes, run around with a shaved chest or go whale watching (which is not even an option in Nebraska, right?!) Stupid.

8. In Indiana the value of Pi is 3.  (They changed it.  It just worked out better for them, mathematically speaking).  Baths may not be taken between October and March, only during the brutally hot summer months.  Also, it is illegal to pass a horse.

9. Kentucky... oh Kentucky. It is illegal for dogs to molest cars or for humans to molest trash cans, or for people to dye ducklings blue and sell them, unless they are sold in multiples of six (6), and a woman may not wear a hat without her husband's permission.  Stupid.

10. Florida... in my opinion, is the craziest state in the nation.  So, I feel like any law might be necessary, given what people in that state are prone to do.  Nonetheless, if you park your elephant in a metered parking spot you MUST pay the toll, it is illegal to sing in a public place while wearing a bathing suit or to wear anything strapless in public, it is also illegal to engage in any sort of shenanigans with a porcupine.  But, if you hit a pedestrian you will ONLY be fined $78 (so that's good!). Stupid.  Florida. Stupid.

Awesome laws that most people would perceive to be ridiculous.  In the state of Texas, it is illegal to hold public office of any kind without acknowledging belief in the existence of a Supreme being.  (We mean business with religion in Texas!)

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