To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

I think I give up... but, I can't commit even to that.

People are ALWAYS trying to get me to go to these mid-singles conferences at church.

I KNOW deep down that I should want to go. But, I don't. I won't. I can't.

I went to like an hour of one and I thought I was going to die. Let me tell you what happened. I went to church in Huntington Beach and there were like a bazillion mid-singles there, but it looked like cougar prom or something! Everyone was SO decked out. And, there was so much spray tan going on it was crazy. Oh, and one girl was knitting... IN THE CHAPEL, DURING SACRAMENT MEETING... who does that?!? And, no one was paying attention... and everyone was looking around the room... and... ugh... I had to get out of there. I was SO uncomfortable.

The raddest part was that I was in the temple the Thursday before the conference, which was apparently the night dedicated for those attending that conference. I had no idea, I just wanted to go. Anyhoo... I met this girl in the dressing room and she had never met me, but she was trying SO hard to convince me to go to this lovely conference. Lucky for me, I had to chaperone Youth Conference, so even if I wanted to (and I didn't) I already made other commitments. And, she was telling me that she wanted to find love and there was no one to date where she was from and blah blah blah. And, you know what?!? I saw her during that one hour of pure torture that I sat in that Chapel in HB... and there she was like white on rice staring all googley-eyed at some dude and they were mouthing their I love yous to each other. And, I really genuinely thought 'how cute, she found someone!' And, that thought was promptly followed by '... oh my gosh, what is this the Bachelor?!? Who falls in love in one weekend!?!' =

Honestly, I fancy myself very friendly and relatively social... but, I HATE those things. I just refuse. The speed dating. The church dances for 30-year-olds. The cheesy pick-up lines. Ugh... I am visually disturbed as I type this. But, before I go on, let me just say this... to each his/her own. If you love them, I am applaud you. I wish I could... but, I can't. I just can't.

I love that everyone is so so so desirous to get me married off. It's sweet. And, I am truly flattered. But, don't hold your breath... any of you.

So, today I (along with a few others) get this email from my dear sweet friend Nacolynn inviting me to this mid-singles conference somewhere in the high desert for this upcoming weekend. Luckily, I have committed to go to a wedding for a girl I work with that has probably talked to me three (3) times EVER, and I think at least two (2) of them she was irked because I needed something from her. But, for some reason she invited me to her wedding. I am assuming it's because she must not know too many people. And I, of course, have said no approximately 4x ever, so I am going. And, up until about an hour ago, I was cursing the fact that I said yes, but now, I feel suddenly relieved to have previous plans. Because, I CANNOT take another round of 'it's not that bad, you should just go' to a bloody mid-singles conference.

Nacolynn: I know it’s in Hesperia or wherever, but I’m just sending along the info if you’re interested, you never know! You could be a cowgirl princess the rest of your life! (p.s. look at the “disclaimer” section on being single…good thing they’re clarifying!)

Ali (me): Do people find love in the desert? It seems like it's way too hot to get your game on. You'd be all sweaty?!? I am just sayin'...

Holly: Aug in the Desert, Mid-Singles, Meat Market. No thanks.

Nacolynn: Haha, maybe it’s all indoor lol Then again, maybe they do it so you see the “inner beauty.”

Nacolynn: And I guess if you get too bored, you can trot up to Barstow for outlet shopping…just sayin’

Tanni: Huntington has a beach thing going on that day. You going to the high desert?

Ali (me): I can't go to either. I have a wedding to attend. But, in truth, I will think of ANY excuse not to have to go to those things. I HATE THEM!!!

Tanni: They aren't that bad. how do you meet guys then?

Ali (me):I am hoping God will drop one in my lap... a guy who always wanted to marry a girl who always wears pajamas. If not, I might have to get a cat. :)


holly said...

Don't forget about the upcoming mid-singles activity in LA - movie at the church ball field, projected on a screen: "Star Wars" with a Star Wars themed concession stand AND....prizes for the best costume

Nakki said...

Well, I'll send you a wedding invite for my backyard wedding after I get back from the conference...oh wait, I can't go the meantime i'll be working on my "modest" Princess Leia costume.

MY FOUR SONS said...

Ha! Ha! I love your posts! Pam says the same thing. I have yet to hear positive stories from those single's conferences. On a side note, there is a lady in my ward who knits - with two long knitting needles - all through church. She comes in late to every meeting with her bag of knitting and a 32 oz. soda.

Ali B. said...

Now the 32 oz soda, that I could get into! If it wasn't so trailer park! But, the knitting?!?

Party of Five said...

I have young women who cross stitch during church, but they are weird! Just a side note that I noticed on a recent singles flyer "All Divorces must be final". All I am saying is that if they aren't smart enough to figure that out I would be frightened to go too!