It's national 'Help Out Your Blind Friend Day'. Never heard of it? That's because I made it up.
So...... I was doing my friend Claire's taxes because I am a wicked awesome friend like that. (Plus, they were way easy and basic since she doesn't have to do deductions and itemizing and all the stuff my taxes require). I have been paying this CFA to do mine ever since they started getting too complicated. So, I miss a lot of the crazy business that comes along with doing taxes.
As I was doing Claire's 540EZ for the State of California I came across a standard deduction for the blind. And, I thought, hmmm... how blind IS blind? Because I wear contacts that are basically FOR blind people (-3.5). And, I wondered if that would count. But, I am sure if it does, my tax guy already caught that one.
But, aside from wondering about the fiscal implications I could propher from if I was blind (and wondering if technically I AM blind), I wondered why the deduction for the blind? That seems odd. Not that I am anti-blind. Nope. I am not. Anti-ice cream man, yes siree. Anti-fruit (unless we're talking skittles), pretty much, but anti-blind people, no way. I am cool with the blind. I like Stevie Wonder. I mean his crazy '... I just called to say I love you...' song plays on the Musak in my office like 12x a day. I have mad love for the blind.
And, so I was joking around about it. And, there is this guy in my office who knows everything, I am serious, everything, like even more than Dustin Monroe. And, he starts to tell me that blind people are granted lifelong free access into all of the US National Parks. Awesome. And, awkward, since they can't in fact see. It kind of makes me want to go to one just so I can see all the fondling of trees.
Anyway, since I am weird and I do strange and unexplainable things, I looked up some other ways in which blind people catch breaks. And, here are a list of a few of the advantages/perks for the blind:
If you live in Scotland or Norhtern Ireland, you get an allowance... which is awesome.
You don't have to acknowledge people if you don't want to. You can get away with totally ignoring people.
You don't have to be freaked out by bugs, or the boogie man, or the ice cream man.
You don't have to drive when you go out with friends.
You get to take a dog with you most places, which is AWESOME.
There is NO way you had to read Lord of the Flies 3 times in High School like I did. I have such hatred for that book.
You don't have to pay postage?!? That seems odd. But, it's true. Many places you can receive personal information, utility bills, bank statements, etc. for free. In the postage area it reads "free matter for the blind."
You can ride on the bus for free, which I assume would be a totally legitimate and not scary prospect... IF and only IF you were blind.
Apparently, these perks have the other disabled people up in arms. I can just imagine all the people with limps, and lisps and multiple personalities are making faces and flipping off all those lucky blind people... but, it's ok because the blind people can't even see them.
So, on today of all days, I would like to congratulate and recognize all those blind people out there. I am happy you get some perks!