Oh My...

Really?

Seriously?

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,337232,00.html

This is so disturbing!

Really?

Week in Review - October 5-12

I have decided that I need a little more of a consistency with this blog, a few themes, if you will. As, I was driving home from another weekend in Vegas I thought about how often during the week random thoughts pop into my head that I can’t seem to shake and also about all the funny quotes I hear during the week that stick out to me. So, I decided, I am going to start doing a “Week in Review” every Sunday… at least I’ll try to do it every Sunday… and if I don’t actually get it up on Sunday, there is a way I can rig the blog to LIE for me, so you all think I am structured and organized, although any of you who know me KNOW I am definitely not.

So here we go… week in review for October 5 -12.

The 5th was Adam’s birthday. He is my older brother. He turned 36? Anyway… he is RAD. When I was little he would bend me in ways that only carni-folk could bend, in the name of wrestling. He was so industrious. Almost every game we ever played was created by Adam using only very few props (there was either-you-jump-off-the-roof-into-the-pool-or-I’ll-push-you, tape ball, pillow fights in which I never received a pillow only he and all his friends did, there was that time he made me get on the side of the van and then he catapulted me off into the palm trees) aaaaaahhhhh, memories. Sweet memories! And, there was that time he burned a hole in the carpet and made me sit on it and told me if I moved he’d kill me! I think I sat there for like 5 hours… MAN HE WAS MEAN! But, so much fun! I still remember the day he blessed Haley – he was so nervous and proud. It was the day I decided I wanted to marry someone just like him (but maybe slightly less abusive, but only slightly!) Happy Birthday!

First thought. I had NO IDEA Paul Newman was hot!

I go to Vegas WAY too much for someone that can’t drink the kool-aid, so to speak! Last weekend I went for the third weekend in 2 months. And, I saw a NKOTB concert. For those or you who are not cool that is New Kids On The Block. A guy in my office asked me “Are you serious? Why?” To which I replied, that I am not sure I like NKOTB, but I am sure I like my friend Morgan and I am sure she really wanted to go, so I went. It was ridiculous… but, so much fun!

“I don’t own a black bra, so I had to borrow one from my roommate. And, it turns out she is a 38 C. I, however, am not a 38 C, so does anyone need me to store anything in here for them? There is plenty of room.” (She literally pulls out a cell phone, money, credit cards, I.D. lip gloss and keys from the borrowed bra.) – Kate’s friend in Vegas, Jessica Rice

“Ed Hardy is for dorks. Rich dorks.” (Morgs sent me the link to this blog that a friend had sent to her and I kept trying to get the name of the person who generated this funny quote, but I couldn’t find it, I am attributing it to some funny chic in P-town).

We were listening to the song Samson, by Regina Spektor and I am exclaiming how random, but good it is and then Robin says this: “I have totally heard this song. I heard it on Liz’s blog. I don’t know who Liz is, but she’s married to Collin and they seem to have a great relationship.”
Then, later in the week, when we were encouraged to go “viral” she said this: “I don’t have a blog, I am way to busy stalking other people’s blogs to have my own!”

"Family... isn't it about time..."

Last night in every Stake Center across California we heard a broadcast from Elder Ballard, Elder Cook and our very own Elder Whitney Clayton. It was a very powerful and profound message they delivered. We were all told to go "viral" (does that sound a little off to anyone else?!?) and blog about how we personally feel about Proposition 8.

Since the day I was born the best thing about me has always been my family. I am an extension of them. I would die for anyone of them and have often prayed to switch places with each of them at one or more times throughout my life. They are my world! I would do anything I could to protect my family.

I, admittedly, am a person whose choices are largely governed by my religious beliefs. These beliefs are not always popular with the world, most often not. And, I will have to say that at several points in my life I have chosen to take a religious stand that opposed that which I believed to be constitutionally sound, but have never regretted doing so, not even for a moment. But, today, I am proud to say that I believe my actions and beliefs are in accordance with my personal interpretation of The Constitution.

I have always believed that there is one God for all people and that this God was omnipresent during the triumph of the American Revolution and creation of The Constitution. It is my belief that the Founding Forefathers of America created this country under the direction of God. I have never quite understood why we can't admit that proudly or why some want to remove it from the Pledge of Allegiance or U.S. currency, when it's been a part of our country's history since its foundation. I think it was John Page who wrote to Thomas Jefferson after the signing of the Declaration of Independence "We know the race is not to the swift, nor the battle to the strong. Do you not think an Angel rides in the Whirlwind and directs this storm?"

In my opinion, marriage has always been directly linked to religion. In my opinion, it always should be. Marriage is a divine institution. This belief, is not only mine, nor is it one for the minority of the population. According to the California Secretary of State website, on March 7, 2000, the people of California voted on Proposition 22, a proposal to enact a state "Defense of Marriage Act" as an initiative statute. The text of Prop 22 reads: "Only marriage between a man and a woman is valid or recognized in California."

Prop 22 was ratified by an overwhelming majority of California voters, prevailing by a 23-point margin. Statewide over 4.6 million votes were cast in favor of Prop 22 comprising 61.4 % of the vote, while opponents garnered only 2.9 million votes. Final vote counts revealed that Prop 22 won in 52 of California's 58 counties.

Unfortunately, earlier this year the California Supreme Court overruled this vote and declared Prop 22 unconstitutional. In 25 days (on November 4, 2008) we will be voting again to uphold the original wording of Prop 22, defining marriage to be solely between a man and a woman. I strongly encourage all of you who live in California to vote Yes on Prop 8, in order to do so, you must be registered to vote by October 20th.

I also strongly believe in equality. I believe that equality provided the primary reasoning and power behind the strength that led the fight to formulate of our country and justify the battles that created it, defining our freedoms and liberties. But, it is important to note that Proposition 8 will in no way rob any persons of that equality, those rights and privileges governed by our country. In California, the law provides for marriage-related benefits to be given to civil unions and domestic partnerships. Prop 8 DOES NOT in any way diminish these benefits. But, it will hurt our children and it will hurt our church. (For more information see http://www.protectmarriage.com/ , http://www.perservingmarriage.org/ and www.newsroom.lds.org/ldsnewsroom/eng/commentary/the-divine-institution-of-marriage.com ).

There is A LOT riding on this proposition. The bain of the The Family : A Proclamation to the World created in 1995, defends this very type of issue. As I understand it, because of the strict Anti-discrimination laws in California, any church who does not allow all types of legalized marriages to be performed in their chapels/churches would risk losing their tax-exemption status, having huge implications for the LDS church as a whole.

I am pretty sure that all 15 people that read my blog are LDS and well aware of my beliefs. And, I am pretty sure that about 13 of you live outside California, (but I guess it's a public blog, so you never know... I did get those random foreigners commenting on my blog last year!) And, for those of you who DO live outside California, you can still help! Please donate your money to the cause at http://www.protectmarriage.com ! It will not only affect Californians, but all U.S. Citizens and more importantly the church as a whole. I mean, we built our own $20 million dollar temple and we've taken then brunt of the economic drain from illegal immigrants, so could some citizens who live in the other 49 states throw us a bone here! Seriously!!!

P.S. To illustrate how strongly I feel about this cause. I have just agreed to wear a "Vote Yes on Prop 8" shirt to DISNEYLAND tonight... which is tantamount to walking the gauntlet, if you ask me. But, nonetheless, if I die, I'll die justly having supported Prop 8 (for a minimum of 4 hours this week :)! If I don't make it through the night, I love you all. If I do, I am going to try it at The GAP for 4 hours next week... JUST KIDDING!!!

However, I am willing to "get a bumper sticker for my car and risk getting my car vandalized" (to quote my dear friend Holly Boyd), but I don't know where to find them. Anyone know???

Keep it to yourself!

For the love of Pete (whoever Pete is), there are some things I just do not want to hear.

I am one of the happiest people alive.

I know this.

There is a good reason why this is the case. I don't listen to things that I don't want to hear. Seriously!

So far this week I have heard three things that I REALLY did not want to hear! And, as much as I tried to tune them out THEY WOULD NOT GO AWAY!

First, I got a pedicure on Monday. It was my treat for running FOREVER IN THE RAIN (don't worry, I am over it - not). Anyway, I have naturally UGLY feet. About a decade ago I was told by Quentin Spitzer "your toes are SSSSSSOOOOO long, I am pretty sure you could palm a basketball and play Olympic Sports with them." (Seems weird that I still remember this... I am over it, I swear. But, then again maybe not). But, seriously, I'll admit they are the ugliest puppies you'll ever see. There are SO many calluses on each of my LONG toes... and while the running has been good for my legs, it has been bad for my feet. So, anyway... back to the matter at hand... I went to get a pedicure... and the Asian lady who was kind enough to paint my toenails went ON and ON about how ugly my feet were and what did I do go running in the rain??? As a matter of fact lady YES! I did! I tried to get some sympathy by telling her about my marathon. Didn't work. She waxed on and on and on and I am telling you, I barely understood anything else the lady said, but she kept going off about how these were the ugliest feet and I was never going to get any love and I might want to think about a manicure and then MAYBE I could get a boyfriend. So, I finally said "shut up lady, I am paying you!"

Ok, I didn't, but I should have.

Second, I am SO over hearing about how we are all going broke! Yesterday, I saw multiple news sources recite how retirement accounts have lost $2 trillion dollars! Yikes. So, here's the deal, my dad is the smartest financial guy I know. I blindly follow his advice (and that of my financial planner, whose advice I follow mainly because I am paying him!) Anyway, for years now I have been putting the maximum amount possible into my 401K plan, which will yield me the highest tax benefit. Yesterday my statement informed me that I had lost 24.83% this quarter. Yikes. I am not trying to sound like McCain/Palin here, but without knowing an extremely large amount about EXACTLY how the economy ebbs and flows, I know this is not pretty! But, I also read that our economy (although in dire times) is only down 33% from it's all time high (trust me, I get that this sucks) and in 2002, it had fallen 38% and then bounced back within 5 years to an all time high. So, I am hopeful. But, if my hope is dashed, I am totally moving in with my parents! (Because, it would be your fault if I am broke dad!)

Maybe, I should just stop reading the news.

Thirdly, my dear sweet friend Kara sent me an email which stated the following (and I quote exactly) "You should freeze your eggs." Ok. I know that this advice only comes from a sweet and concerned place. And, one of frustration as well. But, this is the third time in my life I have been given this advice. The first time I was 26 and my boss' friend asked if I was married, if I had kids and if I had thought about freezing my eggs. (Mind you this was the first and last time I ever saw this man - thankfully). Second, was my sister Jennica. ENOUGH! This kind of pressure is definitely NOT helping me. If I could get knocked up legitimately, I would! But, since I can't I am just going to eat enough to make me look pregnant. Oh wait... that's not a good idea, right?

So, here's the conclusion. I don't have enough money to freeze my eggs. I don't know how much it cost, but I can't imagine it's a cheap process and I just lost 24.83% on my 401K - remember? Plus, my eggs are not going to be much good - have you seen my feet not the best gene pool (feet wise anyway)?!? I have come up with the perfect solution. I will get 10 foster kids. Foster kids come with a $1000 a month payout from the government, yielding me $120K per year (which will make up for the loss in my retirement) and CLEARLY being that they are severely neglected and/or abused, they are sure to have low standards for a parent and really unattractive feet, which will make me feel better about myself. Done and Done! I am SO smart!

Important Message!

I got this email from a friend and then a modified version from another guy. It totally made me laugh. The subject line was "Important Message". Upon opening it, the email said:

"If you get an e-mail with 'Nude Photos of Sarah Palin' in the subject line, do not open it. It might contain a virus. If you get an e-mail with 'Nude Photos of Hillary Clinton' in the subject line, do not open it. It might contain nude photos of Hillary Clinton... who might contain a virus."

"... second time in thirty-two years..."

I must have heard this statement at least a dozen times between 5:30 AM and 6:30 AM Saturday morning while I was standing in the rain atop a mountain in 40 degree weather... "Ladies and gentlemen, this is the second time in thirty-two years that it has rained for the St. George Marathon."

And, while it was a laudable effort on behalf of the St. George Marathon personnel to make us feel like real athletes... BITE ME!!! You have got to be kidding me!

Yesterday I ran my 2nd marathon... and it SUCKED! Seriously! I finished with purple hands and chattering teeth.

I have to admit, I knew I wasn't going to enjoy it when I stepped out of the bus IN THE RAIN in the 5 AM hour!!! Then I had to stand there FOREVER. But, luckily the marathon committee handed out "rain coats", which apparently in Utah is code for K-mart-plastic-shopping-bag-that-you-can-put-over-your-head-if-you-want. Unfortunately it was STILL raining and STILL 40 degrees and we all know how much I hate 1.) being cold; 2.) eating anything with cheese in it and 3.) dating... in that order.

I did see my cousin Julie, which was fun. She was in the elite corral by the start line where there were 30 porta-potties for 200 runners. I was on the other side, where there were 30 porta-potties for the other 6,800 runners. I asked Julie if I could use hers, since we are family. CLEARLY, the ability to run ridiculously fast is only dominant on the maternal side!

So anyway, the first marathon I ran, I was surprisingly chipper given the fact that I had voluntarily decided to run 26.2 miles. But, I don't think I smiled even once during the first 26 miles of this one! Seriously, I was miserable. And, I would like to say that I have recovered... but, truthfully I haven't my body HURTS and it sucks.

But, there were some moments that, although never made me smile, might possible make the rest of you laugh. During the run my mind vacillated between a bunch of really important thoughts, which were:

1.) I wonder if my ipod could electrocute me?

2.) I could never be a pioneer - extreme exercise in miserable weather conditions is SO not for me.

3.) I am pretty sure my shorts are see-through!

4.) This is strange, I wonder why my legs aren't sore... oh wait, I haven't been able to feel them since I had to take of my sweats before mile 6!

5.) How can I tell if I have hypothermia?

6.) Whose stupid idea was this? Surely, it wasn't mine was it?

There was one point, right after the 26-mile mark, at which I smiled. I saw one of my closest friends, Robin, and my boss, his wife and his two cute children at the finish line, with signs that said "Go Ali" and they were smiling and cheering! We all know how much I adore my boss Joe. But, this time he went above and beyond! That was by far the most touching thing a boss has ever done for me! Thanks Joe! I appreciate that more than you'll ever know! Even if renting an RV and driving to St. George was "the most redneck thing" you've ever done, I'll never forget it!

I am pretty sure that I am WAY too old to run anymore marathons. Now before any of you tell me that your 95-year-old papa ran a marathon last year, I am not saying that someone my age is too old, CLEARLY, I know this. And, I was remind of this fact almost as much as I heard the "... second time in thirty-two years..." line, I heard about the 5 octogenarians that were signed up to run the race, 4 of whom I am pretty sure past my sorry trash!!! (Please note, I was also beat by a man who ran barefoot! NICE. But, I believe my time although 30 minutes slower than my first marathon, was still faster than Oprah's... if she even REALLY ran a marathon... did anyone even see her start... or finish... or anywhere in the middle??? I only saw pictures of her little minions surrounding her...)

But, even as I say this, I am pretty sure my roommate has me convinced that I should run the L.A. marathon over President's Day in February... Speaking of Dizzy, she was AMAZING (as usual) and she's been reminding me all day that she isn't even remotely sore, while I can't even sit down or stand up! Thanks for that roommie...

Congratulations also to M.E., Dan and Julie who finished their first marathons! Brett for killing your 2nd in the Heavy-weight division - so good to see you. And, Melissa who finished her 5th. (Celine, Douglas told me that you were thinking of doing it again next year... I knew you'd NEVER retire!)

And, then there was Cafe Rio... twice! YES PLEASE!!!

Almost...

It's been about 10 months since I was in some sort of a Presidency. It seems like it's that time AGAIN. After spending 4 years in 2 RS Presidencies, I am now a Counselor in the YW Presidency. It makes me feel young and old at the same time. It's funny how that works! But, thanks to my YW calling, I am starting to feel almost "cool" and almost famous.

Back in May we spent the entire day making packages for Soldiers in Iraq. It was a HOT day and we had to ride in a non-air conditioned bus for 2 hours ending up in Van Nuys (your favorite place Mo! - I gave it a shout out for you, don't worry!). It took even longer to get home, plus we had to pull over so that the bus driver could pee?!? (Come on man! I am not sure in the history of the world a bus full of teenagers had pull over so a grown man who does this type of thing for a living has to pee, but he did!) Anyway... there was this guy taking like a bazillion photos of us... and as it turns out I now appear on this website:

http://www.opgratitude.com/gallery/album67/3933f.jpg and http://www.opgratitude.com/gallery/album67/3935f.jpg

... so that's the almost famous part.

Now for the almost cool part. There are many reasons why I am almost cool... (too bad "cool" died in high school, so that's no longer going to get me anywhere)...

1. I love Motion City Soundtrack (their new CD is SO RAD), which according to Becki Judge makes me cool, AND I go to concerts.

2. I have a pair of gold sandals from Urban Outfitters, which according to Sydney Clayton makes me cool.

3. I LOVE LOVE LOVE sugar and ate chocolate cake for breakfast last week, which according to all of my YW makes me really cool (and a little odd).

4. I have a "real job". (I am not going to lie, even I think this is a little bit cool!)

5. I have a lot of clothes.

6. I was born on the same day of the year as my sister, but we're not twins, which according to Heidi Judge is "REALLY cool!"

7. I USED to be athletic, which according to Rachel Clayton makes me cool.

8. I KIND OF know the difference between Emo and Screamo music.

9. I have a house WITH roommates (awesome roommates).

10. I have a Disneyland Pass.

AND

11. I have a pair of skinny jeans! (I am not going to lie, I only wear these around my girls, because I feel like I can't breathe OR sit in them. The girls call them "skinny jeans", I call them "standing room only" jeans.)

I am RAD, it's true.

I sure hope they NEVER find out that I have agreed to see a New Kids on The Block Concert with Diz and Morgan... that would completely wreck the status I've tried so hard to maintain... unless, of course, they don't know who NKOTB are... which could be the case, because they have no idea who Dennis Rodman is! That's weird, right?