To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Monday, July 30, 2007

I HEART the O.C. Fair!

It balances out my annoyance with Fashion Island... whenever, I go shopping there I am always walking around thinking "Where are all the real people, the ones not made of plastic?" "And, why in the world are all these Tom Foolios sporting Prada Dog Purses and Maltese Poodles as accessories?"

But, at the O.C. Fair I think "Aaaaahhhhh, real people." Even better, I feel relatively attractive at the O.C. Fair. Having all my teeth and clothes that cover the unattractive parts of the human body give me a definite advantage. What's not to LOVE.

Nothing beats:

(1) The craft area, because it's SO cheesy and small town.

(2) Those ridiculously large animals behind a sheet that you can gander at for only $1 (Yes, I have seen every one of them!)

(3) Really unsafe roller coasters, which are put together in A day, by uneducated toothless carni-folk, the near death experience only enhances the thrill of the adventure.

(4) The demolition derby!

(5) All the life-size wood cutouts that you can stick your head into.


(7) Funnel Cake! I HEART Funnel Cake!

(8) Professional eaters... lots of professional eaters (due in large part to #6 and #7!)

(9) It's a what-not-to-where paradise. (Why in the world would one wear two backpacks?!? ONE ON EACH THIGH!?! - Only at the Fair). would have a field day at the O.C. Fair!

10) Carni-folk... oh, the carni-folk!
(11) Fabulous concerts (usually) for about $20 - including free admission to experience #1 - #10.
This year, being unavoidably excited, we went to the fair on opening night. Which was not a good idea. There were so many VERY AFFECTIONATE lesbians there.


I was really proud of myself for figuring out why they all came on opening night. Willie Nelson was in concert! Lesbians LOVE Willie Nelson... ever since he donated his sperm to Melissa Etheridge and her partner he's been a HUGE hit in the lesbian community. Of course, that's why they were in attendance... rampant as all get out! It had to be Willie Nelson...

You can imagine my dismay when I shared my clever theory with a friend and was made brutally aware that it was actually Crosby... or Stills... or Nash... that so lovingly donated his man swimmers to the Lesbian musician.
Why does that always happen to me?!?

And, do you think the lesbians thought it was actually Willie that helped out their cause, or just me?


Paige said...

Oh I love the OC fair. A turkey leg..Have you had one. So dang good. And funnel cake, corn dogs, fried oreos, and gingerbread cake. Yum. All I do is eat there. Although once I took my class and had to restrain a kid on the pavement. Talk about embarrassing. Everyone was staring at us while we pinned down a fifth grader. No one cares when you abuse a child at the fair, you fit right in. Love it and miss it.

Seymour Glass said...

i love willie nelson. saw him this weekend in fact, along with a host of others. i guess that makes me a lesbian.

and i'm not sure you adequately appreciate the awesomeness of the demolition derby. it was fantastic this year.

Ali B. said...

Seymour - I always knew you were a lesbian... based on your taste in music - its clear. But, your gender seems to confuse me.

The demo derby is divine.

Cori and Robin watched pig races last night.

f*bomb. said...

O my...
I really wish I had gone with you to get the FULL experience!

My grandmother thinks she looks like Willie Nelson when she wears braids...I'm no longer certain what to feel about that.