To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Thursday, July 12, 2007

"Tranny Taking A Bath"

Ok, so I can't stop laughing... and I am at work... alone... in my office, but my office is open and people walk by... and I am still laughing.

I think I have mentioned before how incredibly privy I am to EVERY kind of spam available. I basically delete everything emailed to me (please take this as a blanket apology for any seemingly inexplicable lack of response to any of your individual emails). Anyway, this morning I was deleting basically ALL my mail and I ran across this alluring one titled "Tranny taking a bath." And, CLEARLY that thought of this is really disheartening and laughable.

So, there is this cute little 20-year-old (Steven) who works for us as an intern, and has for all four (4) years I have been at this company. He spends most of his days trying to make me "cool" (which I have never really been, nor do I want to be, but still he tries - most recently explaining the difference between Emo and Screamo music WITH a demo that made me have flashbacks of 'Humanities 101.' He even made me a mixed CD with a lot of songs from a band named Brand New... aaahhhh, sweet huh??? .... But, I am pretty sure I am STILL not cool). So, Steven walked by, looking at me quizzically (as if I am AGAIN being uncool) and he asks me what's so funny.

Ali: There is this SPAM message that is titled "Tranny takes a bath." That is that like a transvestite right?
SR: Right. And?
Ali: And, who would open that? I mean who WANTS to see that? Is that like a train wreck situation, you just can't help it, you don't really want to see it, but then again you can't NOT look?
SR: I totally want to see that! Do you still have it?
Ali: Sorry, but NO. I deleted it about an hour ago.
SR: Oh, that sucks.
Ali: Eeeeewwwwww!

Then I felt the need to conduct an empirical study of this very type of situation. Another guy in my office walked by (38, single... well, unless you count his 22-year-old girlfriend, who looks like, and in all actuality might BE, a stripper).

Ali: Hey, you know when you get those emails that have riveting and descriptive subject titles such as 'Britney Spears bent over a goat"?*
JSM: What???
Ali: You know what I am talking about.
JSM: Huh?
Ali: I am curious, when you open those emails, is that ACTUALLY what the content of the email is? Or, are those the same emails, just more cleverly disguised, designed to get people to look at 'Replica Watches.'
JSM: I don't know, I don't open those!
Ali: Not at work? Or never?
JSM: What???
Ali: I won't tell on you!
JSM: I don't open those!
Ali: Fine, don't tell me.
JSM: Rolls his eyes and walks away…

*Note 1: I still don’t know the answer to this question. Anyone? Bueller? Bueller? Anyone?

** Note 2: I contemplated going to Google Images and typing "Tranny taking a bath", but then I got too nervous... there probably IS a visual... and I fear if I saw it, I might never be the same.

5 comments:

മാലിക് എടുത്ത ഫോട്ടോകള്‍ said...

hallo... Ali Brinkerhoff
i dont know can u understand my language, any way this is my first time to visit ur blog, beautiful, i read all with one sit,
have a good day, malik.

Ali B. said...

As it turns out, I am a BIG hit with foreigners. They tend to use the word "beautiful" a lot, in reference to my blog. I am pretty sure they "don't understand my language."

That being said:
(A) I would TOTALLY move to said foreign land, if I knew what country these people were from; and
(B) I need to read random blogs posted from people I don't know (preferably out of the NAFTA region) and make bizzare comments, just to toy with them.

Marigold said...

HAHAHA.

Reyna said...

your blog is BEAUTIFUL! and by beautiful I mean sooooo funny. I want to come intern at your office too. So does Bennett. Cant wait to see you soon!!

f*bomb. said...

I just decided to quit my life and move to Australia. How do I find out if there are any Australians who think my language is beautiful?

PS-
Trannies in baths- not so good. Trannies in hardcore drag singing showtunes- UNBELIEVABLE. Anytime you wanna go, just you say the word and I am THERE. It's a magical, glittery place, encrusted with sequins, bejewled and bedazzled, and everyone wears flowers in their hair. It's just like heaven. A big, singing, tranny heaven.