Another one got away...

Shoot... I'm pretty sure he was the one... if only I had caught him...

D & G

I love presents.

I really love surprise ones.

Today I got a package in the mail from my friend Uncle Melly.

It was this fabulous D & G purse.

I was thrilled and shocked that I would get such a fab gift!

And, I'm pretty sure it's real. She does have a pretty posh job at the computer lab at USU.

Is "Gabbana" suppose to have 2 b's?

It's so sex-in-the-city!

Thanks Mel!

Ride your bike to work day!

Apparently, today is ride your bike to work day.

I told my roommate this.

Her response, "I should have left yesterday then."

Me too.

But, then it wouldn't have been "Ride your bike to work day."

So, we're safe.

Whew!

Replica Watches???

So, to say that the SPAM filter at my office sucks, would be a gross understatement.

But, here's the deal, if the name of the sender of the spam sounds legitimate (a.k.a. not like a porn-star name) I pretty much have to open the email, because I keep getting vendors and subcontractors and clients that send me stuff and I never know their names and if I don't open EVERYTHING I seem to miss important documents.

So, obviously, like most people (gender-specific SPAM seems to be obsolete), I get hundreds of SPAM emails offering me cheap Viagra, and the ones to help those sweet little African Kings out by letting them store their millions in my bank account, etc... Annoying as they are, I get how they work for the spammers sending them, because people are not bright or apparently high-functioning after a certain age.

However, by far, the most SPAM I receive comes from people who want me to buy Replica Watches for dirt cheap. Is that really THAT big of an industry??? I am confused by this.

Anyone ever get the replica watch spam?

Anyone ever bought a replica watch? If so, I hate you! But, don't take it personally.

"J"

I love my mommy. Her name is Jan... but, I call her "J".

Since it's mother's day I am going to share some of my favorite quotes from my mom. I am going to have to paraphrase, because the exact words... well I can't remember them.

I don't have Alzheimer’s, but I definitely have half-heimers.

All of my children are bi-lingual and I an only uni-lingual.
(As you can, see might not even be that... mono-lingual).

Don't touch that frozen yogurt in the freezer. I bought it for the dog.
(Sadly, she wasn't kidding.)

Veiled Compliments ???

These are a few that I have received:

"I think your obsession with ketchup is adorable."

"Your hair looks so... ummm... 80s today."

"Wow your toes are long. I mean, you could palm a basketball with those, you could play Olympic sports with those." - this one was given by a guy I dated... but, what did I expect, one of our dates was at Hooters.

This one I got this morning.
Jonathan: "Hello Farrah!"
Me: "Huh???"
Jonathan: "You look like Farrah Fawcett today"
Me: "Like the poster you had on the wall as a kid?"
Jonathan: "No, Just your hair."




FOR THE RECORD, I CAN'T HELP IT, this is what happens when you have quasi-curly hair and you are too lazy to do it!!!

I know I have recieved more, but I can't remember them due to my old-age half-heimsers.

Now, I'd like to hear some of your best veiled compliments... go!

It's come to this...

My friend Melissa Chipman sent this email to me and my roommate... apparently she had a dream about us... but, actually Cori got spared...

... So I had the best dream about you two last night. Ali was engaged
to some totally short, weird guy. Everyone was freaking out because they
didn't really know each other. Ali just said it would all be okay and they
would fall in love at some point. We were all over at your house, which
wasn't the house you now live in. It was some other random house. We
were talking about the situation and Ali and little guy walked in. It was
very tense and then the dream was over...

Basically, this is EXACTLY how I imagined it would happen for me... ever since I was a little girl... OK, actually this version only surfaced as a fantasy last year... but, still.

For those of you who wish to have future dreams about me... if I am not getting married in real life, here are your available options for husbands, there are 4:

(1) David Beckham (but, only mute... I don't think I could handle it if he actually spoke);

(2) Wentworth Miller;

(3) Chris Carraba; and

(4) Jared Leto (pre make-up, jean leggings and the no-name band) - the My-so-called-life or the Fight Club years.

If I marry anyone else... namely anyone short and weird... I really don't need to hear about it.

And, if I do, be warned... I am going to attempt to direct my dreams to avenge the ones had about me, and I am not promising that everyone lives in my dreams!

True Sports Fans...

So my Company has season tickets to EVERYTHING... Lakers, Clippers, Chargers, Angels, Kings, Avengers... it's crazy! But, fun.

I particularly like my new favorite sport... Indoor Arena Football... it's great, we went the weekend before last and there were 2 ejections, 1 fight, and 1 cute little 4-year-old boy shaking his money maker and lifting up his shirt just to get on the jumbo-tran... unfortunately, he never made the cut! Poor little ankle-biter.

On Friday, the girls and I strolled into the Angels game... on free visor Friday... and became true sports fans. This is what I remember of the night...

(1) we were only seated about .24 seconds before some of us got bored and had to leave to get reinforcements from the snack bar.

(2) baseball games are way more interesting when you bring "People" magazine.

(3) people kept cheering off and on, but we didn't really get all the hype... no one scored after our 4th inning arrival.

(4) they did not do the wave, not even once! What the...

(5) Chone does not sound like Shawn or even Sean, yet apparently that is how it is pronounced.

(6) only the people in the cheap seats get free-t-shirt shot to them out of a cannon.

(7) French fries taste way better when served in a baseball helmet for the bargain price of $5, even if they are cold... at least that's what I keep telling myself.

(8) I am pretty sure we didn't watch a single play of the game, we were too busy: buying food, reading People magazine, and watching Lindsey Fife walk up and down the aisles trying to find anyone she knew (without any former knowledge that anyone she knows might be there).

All in all, a great 'girls night out.'

Quote of the night: "I don't want to wear the pants in my relationships, I just want to pick out the pants." - Lindsey Fife

I need to get a life...

It's 1:45 P.M. on a Saturday...

And, I am at work...

with the cleaning crew...

It's just me and the cleaning crew!

But, I work for a Mexican... so can I call this celebrating Cinco de Mayo?

Me & Joe (my boss)


This shameful!

Back to work...

Izzy!

My sister-in-law Julie, who is wonderful, just sent me this picture of my 2-year-old niece Isabella (Izzy).

Isn't this fab! I so HEART this photo... so much so that I want to attach it to emails I send out for business... just to express my feelings.

But, don't worry... I won't.

Google is SO overrated!

So, the other day a friend was telling me that he googles himself all the time... I am not sure why... maybe just to make sure he is staying under the radar or getting good press... I don't get it, he's definitely not famous or anything.

It's a bit egocentric for sure, but I decided to try it.

I have often said that I totally fear any sort of photos (not that I have taken any compromising ones) appearing on the internet. I just know that any that make it into cyber space will clearly look like the ones I take for the ward meat market catalog... which are never pretty! I fear this the same way my sister-in-law fears being filmed from behind as 60-minutes pans the crowd of people for the latest "over 80% of Americans are fat" series. She really does! Good thing she beautiful and tiny, so she's in the clear.

On the other hand, I DID see some frightening photos of me. Turns out the only reason I even appear on google is that I have run a dozen or so half- and full- marathons in the past few years... so you can imagine how hot the images are of me after 4 hours of running... Best thing about it is that before Christmas a few years back the company at the marathon who took the photos (from the ground up, mind you), sent me one in a Christmas-type photo frame requesting that I purchase some to send out for Christmas!!! I thought it was a joke, but it wasn't!

I am siding with Viacom these days... Google is so overrated!


That being said... has anyone else ever googled themselves? I am dying to know which of my friends is the most famous and why.