To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Monday, September 22, 2008

What Matters Most

Due to a lesson I gave my beehives yesterday on dating/marriage, we had a conversation last night at our house while eating a tasty cake made by Marci for Cameron's birthday.

(Side note: 12-year-old girls do not know what the words "fornicate", "lust" and "Pernicious" mean, nor do they understand the terms "necking and petting" ... SWEET, yet AWKWARD for me to explain). Good thing Debra Bendheim came in and said boldly, "Don't let anyone touch your boobs!" It really did make my lesson a lot smoooooother... I couldn't get any of them to stop giggling!

So, last night we were talking about the lists my beehives made to remind them of what they want in a husband and then we mostly started teasing Robin for her really strange bed/husband-to-be/hygiene OCD... if you don't know what this is, it's TOO much to handle, let alone explain, but the gist of it is that no one can get near the bed if they have not first LIVED IN A BUBBLE or come straight from the shower having cleaned every part of their human body. Seriously, it's odder than I can explain. But, it is seemingly really important to her... the same way that being "ridiculously good-looking" was the most important husband quality for my sweet naive beehives, who ironically enough, don't even know what "lust" is, so it would be a total waste of a ridiculously good-looking guy if you ask me... but anywhooooo...

It made me think of my own (very short) list* and I have decided that more earnestly than I want to find a man who does NOT pee on the toilet seat (OR is willing to wipe it up so I don't have to), I would like to find one that can appropriately answer this question I now intend to ask to EVERY guy I go out with (on the first date - it's that important)...

"Exactly, how cool do you want the temperature around you to be?"

If said-potential-husband-candidate says anything under 75 degrees, it's off.

I am sick of being cold! And, after 5 years of working in a freezing man-cave environment, I am totally over looking like a person who is dressed to walk through the streets of Siberia in the winter WHEN I LIVE IN SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA.

* I know, I should be shortening my things-I-want-in-a-husband list these days, but it's just not happening!!!


Brett Fisher said...

I know the pee on the seat part is a trick question- the seat must always be in the upright and locked position so there's no possible way to pee on the seat! How YOU doin'?!?

You do realize the start of the marathon is going to be freezing early in the A.M. at high altitude, right?

The last Unicorn said...

We must be behind. I have to teach this lesson to my beehives next week. Maybe I should ask Debra to come explain the tough stuff. Actually... I think my girls might know what "lust' and "petting" is. Yikes!