Today J.Flo walks in and tells me that he has a Mormon story for me. Turns out he and his friend were talking about how much they love Chick-fil-a and said-friend was complaining about it not being open on Sunday. J. Flo told him that it was because the establishment was owned by a Mormon (which I did not know. Who knew??? ... some LDS trivia that he came up with on his own time). The guy replied "Mormons can eat chicken?" To which J.Flo replied "I sure hope so, because my Mormon friend eats BBQ chicken salad EVERY TIME we go out to lunch." (Which is true... it's my favorite - definitely my if-you-were-on-a-deserted-island-and-could-only-take-one-food-item-with-you-what-would-it-be? item, well that and frozen yogurt). But, I digress. Then J. Flo tells me that if I make a pamphlet correcting all these erroneous myths, he will start distributing them in all the hotels he frequents, right next to all "your books" (AKA the Book of Mormon).
So far I have these myths to dispell (all of which have been asked to me at some point throughout my life):
Q. Do Mormons have horns?
A. Ummmm. No.
Q. How many husbands do you have?
A. NONE! Who are you, my Grandpa, back off!
Q. Do Mormons garden in the nude.
A. Most Mormons I know don't garden at all, but those who do, do so fully-clothed, or at least in their Gs.
Q. Do Mormons wear special/funny underwear?
A. Yes. (If anyone wants to help with answer I'd love any advice you could give, I never know how to answer this!)
Q. I hear you have sex in your temples, is that true?
A. Nope. I am pretty sure if that was happening, the ratio of girls to guys in attendance would actually be off balance the other way!
Q. Did Joseph Smith lose both of his legs?
A. "I am pretty sure he and Hyrum spent their last days leg wrestling in Liberty Jail." - Articulately answered by Rich Benson many moons ago! Thanks Rich, your words will soon be in EVERY Marriott Hotel, right next to the BOM.
Anyone want to add to my pamphlet???