To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Monday, August 27, 2007

Ode to Joe

So, my boss if FAB!!! I have a platonic crush on him.

On Friday we had "Ladies Day Out" at work. There are a grand total of 5 girls that work in my office, 4 downstairs and me upstairs. Mainly, I just hang out with the men, so it was great to have a day out with the ladies... the conversations were so much more pleasant!

Here is what Ladies Day Out consisted of... Limo ride to The Farm in Beverly Hills for Breakfast, to the Beverly Center for shopping, to the Beverly Hilton for 3 hours of spa treatment, to the Geisha House for dinner and then to Orchestra seats for Wicked and through Beverly Hills and then home. Ahhh.... Anyway... we tried to pack a lot into one day... too much... we were late to everything we scheduled to do AND none of it was my fault (shocking, I know). I was the first one to show up! But, all-in-all, it was a very fun day!

So, I felt it appropriate to list my 12 favorite things about Joe, the Greatest Boss ever... Sometimes.

1. Two words... SUGAR DADDY - He gave me $900 on an American Express Gift card with my name printed on it to go shopping on Friday! Yes please. And, he gave me $1,000 cash (and 200 pesos) back in May because I was going to Mexico and he wanted to make sure I had a good time. Plus, he buys me Christmas presents (gift cards, a kitchen aid mixer, cameras, laptops, life sized gum ball machine, etc.) along with giving me a yearly bonus. People say money doesn't buy happiness... and it doesn't... but it DOES buy fabulous clothes and shoes!

2. He hired a 6'4 black man named Roosevelt to drive us around the town. Roosevelt was RAD. And, he was packing heat. My favorite line from him was "other people might know karate, but I know crazy!"

3. He calls me "Brinker".

4. He sponsored "The Murdering Mermaids" (our ward powder puff team) by letting us design our own shirts and then paying for them. Bless his heart!

5. He loves Mormons. And, he loves Mexicans. There is nothing he loves more than a Mormon Mexican! Or a woman.

6. He tried to set me up with a "Cholo", who he promised would show up to my house in a low rider and say "get in, esa."

7. He makes my every day an after school special "Come on Brinker, let's go get a drink. Just once. You'd be such a fun drunk!"

8. Every time I get my hair done he says "Brinker did you paint your hair? It looks nice."

9. He has Lakers, Clippers, Avalanche, Kings, Angels and Sparks tickets which he gives me freely.

10. Every year he builds 2 houses in scattered towns between Tijuana and Tacate and he takes us with him and pretends that we are so helpful... except Rodney, he didn't pretend Rodney was too helpful, Sorry Roger! (He does like you though).

11. He's a 47-year-old Mexican man who this year alone went to Beyonce, John Legend, The Killers, Justin Timberlake, The Police, and Keith Urban; he gave me a Johnny Cash CD; he asks me frequently to recommend "cool music" (which is laughable) and; he let's me make fun of the fact that he has "Stars Go Blind" by Paris Hilton on his Ipod.

12. He sexually harrasses me on a regular basis and then double checks to see if I am planning to sue him. I know I should be offended, but actually, it's kind of flattering! Not that I'd ever tell him that.


1 comment:

Paige said...

I get a little bit jealous when I read about how great your boss is to you. Although he even shares the niceness with your friends like me. Bless his heart is right. You are one lucky girl.