To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Monday, December 10, 2007


Oh good heavens. Where do I start??? Well, every year at my office we have this HUGE Christmas Party. My boss spends about $100K ($10K on booze, $5K on food $25K on prizes and the rest on the casino, the tent, the lighting, etc.). Ever year it's such a blast!

This is Chris. He asked me if I would pose with him on the pole! Hello... awkward. Then he grabbed my hand... ummmmm... Clearly, he was already drunk when we got there.

One year I brought a date (a real date)! That was... ummm.... 4 years ago. So, I am pretty sure no one at my office suspects I am lesbian... although, you never know. Since then, I have brought Mark (my baby bro.) twice and Cori too. This year I took the girls (Wendy, Cori, Robin and Melanie).

With the exception on a few pregnant women, we were the only sober ones in the bunch. But, I am pretty sure you couldn't tell.

Cori wanted to sit in the bucket of the backhoe.

You all know Robin... therefore, this photo needs no explaining... there was a pole and there was Robin...

The talk in the office today is about how the Mormon girls were really good gamblers. Wendy rolled 7 7s in a row at the craps table - and she didn't even know how to play! So, Joe gave her a mixer or a juicer or something like that.

Joe hires a professional photographer. He took literally at least a few dozen photos of us. I asked him if he was making a calendar... he just laughed.

As you can imagine, 5 single girls (HOT single girls) at a construction party were quite a hit! Everyone got lots of attention.

And, you can only imagine how hot we were after $10K worth of booze! My boss asked me this morning how all my cute blonde friends were. I had to let him down gently, by informing him that most of them were in fact brunettes!

(Wendy, Robin, Cori (the sister-wives), Melanie & I posing for the month of May for our upcoming calendar).

But, Robin definitely got the most attention. One of the casino workers told her that she gave him "the tingles!" (Is that right Robin???) And, I believe he told Robin she was the most beautiful woman he'd ever seen. And, while I won't refute the sentiment, I think she actually believed he'd never said that before! Nonetheless, I would like to present the happy couple! I am pretty sure they are M.F.E.O.

Robin, Joe wanted me to tell you that if you are dumb enough to give this guy your phone number, you better not sue him!

Would you really give this guy (a black guy named "Steve" - which seems like a really white guy name if you ask me) your phone number??? Neither would I!!! But, Robin seemed to think it was a good idea!

At the end of the night I won a 46" Sony Bravia LCD 1080P with an accompanying Sony Bravia Home Theater System. (In all actuality, I have no idea what this means, but Aaron and Rob assure me it's a rad T.V. And, I am pretty sure my dad is more proud of this accomplishment than he is that I graduated college and got a job!)

Everyone in my office decided that it might help me get married! We'll see.

Note: Ladies, Jonathan said you were nice. Clint said you were cute. And, Joe said all the blondes could come back next year (I am pretty sure that means all of you - given his confusion).


The last Unicorn said...

I have to tell you... black men have a thing for Robin. I have always been a little envious of this fact. Like the time we were bowling with the Clippers and Bobby Simmons got her number. The crazy thing is he actually called us later that night and wanted to hang out. I think he backed out when he realized we were a package deal and he couldn't have Robin all to him self.

Ali B. said...

I am pretty sure Bobby Simmons was a better catch than "Steve"... I am also sure his name was actually really Bobby, not so sure with "Steve".

Btw Lori Lou, thanks for the gift card. You are so sweet!

Aubrey said... are so funny. And so HOT in that dress! Sounds like such a fun work party. My Christmas party this year consisted of snobbishly rich clients getting ridiculously drunk on $1000 shots and sloppily bumping into each other and yelling at the valet guys for "taking so d@#* long" to get their cars. And for some reason, I don't ever feel left out! :)

Ali B. said...

Just so you all know... today "Steve" called. To my knowledge, Robin has yet to call him back.