To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Thursday, November 1, 2007

Plain ole' Halloween

We did it. We dressed up... Or dressed down. We totally pulled it off. We truly looked like plain... like polygamists.

We were all SO unattractive! Even Robin's doll had more make-up on then the 4 of us combined! We looked tragic!

Honestly, if I had to do it... there are no other girls I'd rather have as sister wives. And our husband (although he sort of blends into the background and you can barely see him) - he was such a good sport. We even got him to go to a party!
I had a really hard time not smiling... can you tell?

Joe gave me $100 to dress up like this at work. I'd do almost anything for $100... actually, I'd do almost anything for a lot less, but let's not tell him that - I LOVE getting Benjamins! He said he'd give $100 to whomever dressed the sexiest. CLEARLY, we all took his bet really seriously, don't we all look hot?!? But, he gave us all money anyway. (I KNOW, I STILL have the greatest boss ever!)
My co-workers (the men didn't dress up - shocking!!! Maria (the Sumo), Theresa (the hag), Michelle (the nerd), Ali (the polygamist) and Nancy (the fat lady who lost a puppy... in her own crack!)

The best part about costume was how much work it took to actually pull it off!

You have to see the socks and shoes to get the whole effect! Tragic... so tragic! Plus, I am like 12 months along and wearing a dress that apparently Aaron's mom owns. It's ok, Robin is wearing one that apparently she herself owns, which has got to be worse right???

I went to Utah last weekend to hang out with friends and while I was there I thought I'd just go to the thrift store and pick up some Amish-looking clothes. Well, I ran out of time and we only had time to go into a regular clothing store. Jackpot. There was an ENTIRE WALL of huge denim jumpers and denim/floral hybrid dresses. It was so unfortunate that these were sold in a store store (as opposed to a second-hand store), but fortunately for me, I found these beauties (mine and Cori's) for $5.99 a piece... and as a bonus, I got the butterfly clip in the not even close to gold looking faux gold with the plastic stones... SO UGLY! If only I had a scrunchie as well that would have been even more RAD!

Anyway, in order to pull of our theme, we neededAaron to not look so much like Aaron and look more like Brother Samuel the polygamist husband. And I... well, I actually have a very short A-line blonde bob, which is a little too chic to do anything plain with (especially since I can't even get it all to be in a ponytail, let alone a bun or braid). So, we needed a beard and a wig! I was on the hunt!

I went everywhere that shady costume-type stuff was sold, Target, JoAnn's, Big Lots, the mall, the grocery store... with no avail. I couldn't find a normal hair colored wig anywhere, and a beard was completely out of the question.

I was running out of time. Tuesday evening we had tickets to see Matt White perform in a small venue in L.A. He was REALLY good. But, we got there about a half hour before he played. And, we passed dozens of costume shops on Hollywood/Beverly... or so I thought. I ducked outside to hit some of the shops. Surely, there had to be wigs and beards in one of these shops right?

Well, as it turns out, they were not so much costumes shops as they were porn/scanky lingerie shops - ALL of them. I had to see so many crotches, pasties, tassles and ... oh gosh... all in the name of looking Amish (ironic???) I'd walk in to a store all flushed with my head down and ask the sales associates(???) if they had any beards or wigs, to which they would respond "Oh, we can do better than that we have ..." or "beards and wigs, that's not nearly as fun as ..." I finally had to stop them by saying "No, no... just say yes or no, I DO NOT want any suggestions for other options." In the 5th store, I FINALLY found them, I think it WAS actually a costume shop, this one... but, I am pretty sure I lost my soul in the process ... (I seem to be doing that a lot this year).

Although, I am pretty convinced that we had the best costumes ever - everyone else looked spectacular as well.

Nellie (the Cupcake) and Aubrey (the Hindu lady)

This has got to be one of the worst pictures of me ever (which I guess was the point), but I love Marci (the Palm Reader), she's too darling not to post. Plus you can see the fab butterfly clip.

Oh, cute little P (the mouse).

Look how cute Ceasar (John Kilpatrick) is! I am pretty sure he's going to be crushed when I tell him that the baby is not actually his!!!

I am pretty sure I make a very close copy of Elin N. Tiger Woods' (Mike Palmer) Supermodel wife, no?


Sara Ann said...

Hi Ali- this is Mel's friend Sara, we stayed with you once a few years ago (thanks by the way). Your blog is so funny! I just had to comment on your polyg pics. I live in St. George and I think you guys could probably head on down to Colorado city and fit right in!

Seymour Glass said...

the non-smiling picture is downright guys really did steal the show last night. even if the jewelry and absence of jeans under your dresses was slightly inaccurate (trust me, i had polygamists shopping at the grocery store by my house for years).

The last Unicorn said...

The shoes really DO make the outfit! Amazing how that holds true... even for Polygamists. You girls look great!

Cori said...

I was hoping that you could post pictures of me looking ridiculously unattractive. Next year we are going as something cute.

Ali B. said...

I thought our costumes were RAD. Jonathan and Reyn told me that we looked Amish! Same thing?!?