Today J.Flo walks in and tells me that he has a Mormon story for me. Turns out he and his friend were talking about how much they love Chick-fil-a and said-friend was complaining about it not being open on Sunday. J. Flo told him that it was because the establishment was owned by a Mormon (which I did not know. Who knew??? ... some LDS trivia that he came up with on his own time). The guy replied "Mormons can eat chicken?" To which J.Flo replied "I sure hope so, because my Mormon friend eats BBQ chicken salad EVERY TIME we go out to lunch." (Which is true... it's my favorite - definitely my if-you-were-on-a-deserted-island-and-could-only-take-one-food-item-with-you-what-would-it-be? item, well that and frozen yogurt). But, I digress. Then J. Flo tells me that if I make a pamphlet correcting all these erroneous myths, he will start distributing them in all the hotels he frequents, right next to all "your books" (AKA the Book of Mormon).
So far I have these myths to dispell (all of which have been asked to me at some point throughout my life):
Q. Do Mormons have horns?
A. Ummmm. No.
Q. How many husbands do you have?
A. NONE! Who are you, my Grandpa, back off!
Q. Do Mormons garden in the nude.
A. Most Mormons I know don't garden at all, but those who do, do so fully-clothed, or at least in their Gs.
Q. Do Mormons wear special/funny underwear?
A. Yes. (If anyone wants to help with answer I'd love any advice you could give, I never know how to answer this!)
Q. I hear you have sex in your temples, is that true?
A. Nope. I am pretty sure if that was happening, the ratio of girls to guys in attendance would actually be off balance the other way!
Q. Did Joseph Smith lose both of his legs?
A. "I am pretty sure he and Hyrum spent their last days leg wrestling in Liberty Jail." - Articulately answered by Rich Benson many moons ago! Thanks Rich, your words will soon be in EVERY Marriott Hotel, right next to the BOM.
Anyone want to add to my pamphlet???
6 comments:
Ali --- You finally posted! It took me six months and about a dozen random people coming up to me and telling me how much they loved my daughter's blog to start reading it, but now I'm hooked! By the way, Chick-fil-a isn't owned by a Mormon; rather a Baptist who happens to take the Ten Commandments seriously!
When it comes to the G's I always tell people it is just like the garments that other religions wear outside of their clothing (popes-robes, muslims-scarves, etc), to remind them of certain blessings they have received and ordinances they have performed or reminders of modesty etc... but instead we wear them underneath our clothes. I find when I talk about it with out acting like it is "weird" to have "special underwear" it is not that big of a deal. Most of my friends want them for themselves!
I got this question once...Do Mormons believe that when they die they become a star?
my answer is similar to Lori's...
I usually compare gs to the Jewish prayer shawl, a symbolic item, but that we wear as a first layer next to the skin to remind us of promises we've made.
oh mama mia, I believe you should start blogging. I was so excited to see you post on Ali's blog.
Ali, guess what?! I wanted to tell you some exciting news. I heard that once upon a time you wrote for the Daily Universe at BYU. Is that correct? It might have just been Mark... I don't know. Well, I'm taking that News Reporting class and I'm writing in the Sports section- volleyball to be exact!
Stacy, I sure did. I had to write the obituary section! Yikes. It was for sure an experience. You'll love it, but it's work! Good luck and have fun.
Jan learned how to comment! Isn't that great!
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