My neighbor Steve* is one chromosome shy of normal, maybe even two... AND so, of course, he has a crush on me!
Cori thinks it's so funny!
He's a really nice guy. But, I'd be lying if I didn't admit that the day I saw him, I looked him up on Megan's Law... just in case... you can never be too careful! Thankfully, unless he “forgot to register,” Steve is not a sexual predator... or not one who has been caught at least.
But, he is DEFINITELY odd... bless his heart.
Steve and I first met when I moved in to my new apartment about 8 months ago. He came over to talk to me when I was trapped in a box on my patio painting my desk to match the new hutch. I was up to my elbows in paint, so I had to stay outside. This was our conversation:
Steve: Where are you from?
Me: Well, I grew up in Santa Barbara.
Steve: Really?!? I went to college at UCSB. I graduated in Biology. I wanted to go into the biotechnology industry, but, well you know, there's no money in the biotechnology industry these days.
Me: What?!? Really?!?
Me. So what do you do now?
Steve: A lot of things.
Me: So, you're an entrepreneur of sorts?
Steve: What? Um, well sure I guess. I am currently trying to work my way up in the Del Taco Corporation.
Me: Oh, do you work in the Corporate Office?
Steve: No, (looking at me quizzically) I work at the one down the street.
Me: Um… well, do you at least get a discount.
Steve: Not a very good one.
Ok, at this point I am thoroughly confused. Would someone please tell me how a part-time Del Taco worker could make more than ANYONE (a rat even) in the Biotechnology industry???. Did I miss something here???
*I have wanted to snap a photo of Steve, so you could all see how charming he is... but, I gave up, because, as it turns out, he is kind-of-sort-of-ok-enough-being-nice really weird and he's started to kind of stalk me. Eeeek.
On Sunday I had a bunch of friends over and Steve came out calling my name, I wasn't home yet, so they told him this... and he waited perched in his doorway.
Once again, Cori found this very funny! Brat!
Basically, he wants me to attend his graduation. That's right kids... Steve is getting his Master's from the University of Phoenix... and then hopes to get his PhD. I never thought I’d be so happy to be in the sketchy villages of Mexico somewhere between Tecate and Tijauna… but, lucky for me, I will be there right during Steve’s graduation. But, just my luck, Steve must not like me THAT much, he told me I could only come if I was willing to pay $10 for my ticket.
Have I mentioned that Steve is one of those guys whose is of a non-descript age, he can't be that old, but he can't be that you... and, his shirt never quite covers his girth... he keeps volunteering to go running with me... and sometimes in the middle of the night I can hear him laughing...
I have never much cared for the name Steve…