White Elephant LOVE!

Look who's blogging for the 7th time this month! You can thank me later (or now). I got my groove back, but we'll see how long that lasts.

So, I secretly LOVE a really good White Elephant Party. (Guess the secret is out now.)

Last weekend I went to one, a super fun one. And, it made us roommates want to throw one of our own.

Plus, we decorated the house so cute for Christmas, so we figured we'd show it off.

We have a really fun group of friends, and I knew they'd all make a White Elephant Party so much fun. And, it was SO MUCH FUN.

As Lisa VanderPump, my favorite Beverly Hills Housewife, would say "It was a few clowns short of a circus." Just the kind of party I LOVE.

P.S. It's raining ridiculously hard in Cali, and it has been for days. So, the roommies and I decided to wear our finest festive PJs to our party. And, Diz said that her favorite part of the whole night was that I LET her wear her jammies to a party. I guess I am a fashion Nazi. (Although I would like to state I have never told anyone what to wear, without being asked first!)

Who wore it best?!?

There was a White Elephant party (pictures and post to come)...

that turned into a late night...

that turned into a who wore it best dance pants edition...

starring Dustin & Jeanette.



(I promised Dusty I would not post this on FB, but he conceded to let me post it on the blog. Do you think posting the link to my blog on FB was cheating? If so, I am sorry Dusty, you are a great sport, and as such, I will make sure to post the photo where everyone knows what you truly look like...


Hubba hubba - yes, I just said that, because I am old and that's what we used to say.

All that being said, please vote in my little poll.

Things I love! (and People)

(In this order).

CAKE

PRESENTS

PRESENTS SHAPED LIKE CAKE

CAKE SHAPED LIKE PRESENTS

CANDY

ICE CREAM/FROZEN YOGURT

CHRISTMAS

CHRISTMAS MUSIC

ANYTHING THAT SMELLS LIKE CHRISTMAS

THE GOSPEL (Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints)

CARDIGANS

SHOES

DIET COKE

PRESENTS THAT LOOK LIKE DIET COKE (I actually got one for my birthday, it was RAD).

ANTHROPOLOGIE

TIVO

THE DESPERATE HOUSE WIVES OF BEVERLY HILLS

MODERN FAMILY

PHIL DUNPHY (Actually, he's a person, but a fake one, so basically, he falls into the "things" category. If he actually DID exist and he wasn't married to Claire, I would bite the bullet and get married... to him.)

MY FAMILY (also, people. I LOVE them SLIGHTLY less than I LOVE Phil Dunphy.)

SOUTH COAST PLAZA/FASHION ISLAND

ETSY

MEN THAT FIX STUFF (also people).

ANYTHING KATE SPADE MAKES

TARGET

VACATIONS

SLEEPING

GIVING PEOPLE HIGH FIVES

SHIRTS THAT SAY "FREE HUGS"

SAYING "WE'RE ON A DIET" (But, not actually being on one).


MAKING GOALS (But, not actually keeping them).

SPENDING MONEY

RAPPERS



WATCHING THE SAME MOVIE I HAVE ALREADY SEEN OVER AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN (Same with listening to song and sayings).

KETCHUP/BBQ SAUCE

BBQ CHICKEN SALAD

WHEAT TOAST WITH SPRAY BUTTER.

MODERN MEDICINE

LAS VEGAS

ROOMMATES (which are also in actuality, people, but...)

MY CALLING AT CHURCH WITH THE BEST YW IN THE WORLD.

HOME DEPOT

WIKIPEDIA

RUFFLES, BOWS, SPARKLES

MAKE-UP

DRIVING WHILE EATING

TALKING

TALKING WHILE DRIVING AND EATING

RUNNING

FREE STUFF

COMPLIMENTS

TEXAS

SMART CHEAP BORING MOODY GUYS (also people).

HEADBANDS WITH FLOWERS AND BOWS

MAGIC 8 BALLS AND FORTUNES IN FORTUNE COOKIES

CAFE RIO

STONEFIRE CAFE

SEEING PEOPLE SMILE/MAKING PEOPLE LAUGH

JOKES

ANYTHING FUN

MENTORS

FANTASTIC FRIENDS (also people)

MONOGRAMMED STUFF

HAMMOCKS

BEING OUTSIDE

PILLOWS

ANYTHING THAT HAS A BIRD ON IT OR IS SHAPED LIKE BIRD (but not actually REAL birds).

SPACE HEATERS

PEOPLE WHO MAKE ME LAUGH

GREAT DEAL AT THE SWAPPIE

T SWIFT

PEOPLE.COM

STUFF THAT'S ON SALE

DANCE PARTIES

COSTUMES (I would wear one every day, if people didn't think I was weird).

WEIRD PEOPLE

CLEAN HOUSES

PEOPLE WHO READ THIS BLOG (also people).

This list may get longer. Wait for it.

Next Up, things I hate! Wait for it.

She's lost her marble!

As most of you know, back in September our family had quite a scare.

Adam and I flew to Texas to be with my mom, along with my dad, Mark and Kimberly as we waited to find out if her brain tumor was malignant or benign.

Right before he left Connecticut, my brother Adam tried to explain to his cute little children what was going on. And, although the ordeal was quite scary. This story that Adam told us made us all smile, because his kids are just so stinkin' charming.

Adam: You guys, I have to go to Texas for a few days. Meme is sick. She has a tumor in her brain.
Jacob (7): What's a tumor?
Adam: It's a mass of cells/tissues that are abnormal. It's about the size of a marble.
Jacob: Meme has a marble in her brain?!?
Izzy (5): Did she eat the marble?
Adam: Oh my gosh, forget about the marble!

The morning before my mom went in for her biopsy. The kids called. And, Jacob screamed into the phone. "I hope you don't die Meme!" To which she responded, "I hope I don't either, Jacob."

Yesterday, we got some very good news. The tumor is gone. Completely. The doctor's can't even find it!

And, it appears that if all continues to go well, in 6 more weeks my mom will get a break from her favorite nurses and doctors at UT Southwestern. No more Urban Taco for every meal. No more wires and ports. No more mom looking like a cable box. No more chemo! No more marble.

I couldn't be happier. Or more relieved.

And, I just wanted to thank everyone who called, sent flowers, wrote messages, sent emails, etc. I want you each to know that I read/heard every single one. And, each one touched my heart. Thanks for all of your prayers on my mom's behalf. As a family, we feel very honored and blessed and humbled by the whole experience. And, I once again realize how amazingly wonderful my friends and family are.

Drum Roll.... please....

Sometimes I get dressed up, but not often.

And, sometimes Jackie lets me take pictures of her. Ok, actually that one was a lie. She never really does.

And, since it's a rare occasion for both of us, we went into a photo booth, and this is what came out.

Ladies and Gentlemen, here she is THE Jackie B., my very favorite co-worker and one of my closest friends.

Since she had a little bit of rum and I sneaked her into a photo booth you all get to finally see her.

She does exist. And, she IS super funny. Aren't you all excited to finally see her!?!?!

Isn't she so darling!?!?!?

Excuses, excuses.

I have a REALLY hard time saying "no" to anything or anyone. But, there are so many days where I think it would be a very very beneficial art to master.

I don't really even know why I can't say no. But, one possibility is that perhaps I don't usually have a really good excuse to say no.

Fear not, I think I have found one.



The next time I need an excuse I am totally going for it "I view my hands as elite athletes, like Olympic athletes, and so anything I do is to protect them from jeopardy or danger. So, for me that means not cooking, or cleaning, no taking out the garbage, no opening windows or doors, no gardening, no sports, no no no..."

Wait for it. If I say "I can't, I am a hand model", it just means no.

P.S. Jackie sent me this video. And, as I was watching it she said, "come on, let's just ask the question everyone wants to know." When I asked what that would be her reply was, "Well let's just say, she must have a massive bidet!"

I made this...

Turns out I can sew.

Yep, I made this pillow a few weeks ago.

And, stole the idea from here.

Carly supervised as Jean and I tried our skills at being domestic.

It now sits on the bench (that I re-furbished), because I am awesome like that.

Thanks Carly! And, Jean.

My Namesake

When I was 15-years-old I got a call from my aunt Heidi (my dad's baby sister). She was about to have her 6th child. And, she said she'd always loved the name Ali and wanted to know if it would be cool for her to also call her soon-to-be-born daughter Ali. (Although, little Ali's real name is Alexa and mine is Allison, both of us have always gone by Ali.) And, so she was born - my namesake.

Well, I didn't see much of my namesake, because we never lived close enough, until I went to college at the Y, and Ali's family lived in Orem at the time. When I went to college, Ali was still really young. And, at the end of my college years I drove a JEEP Wrangler (One of my best friends, Wendy, had one, and I loved it. So, that was the first car I ever bought.) Ali and her big sister Katie LOVED the wrangler (and their wicked awesome older cousin Ali). I used to pick them up and take them driving and we'd drag the town in my car with the top down. And, apparently I took them to Red Robin and gave them my spare change?!?! Or so they tell me. (Which was somehow awesome, though I am sure I could have come up with something more impressive right?!?)

Now my namesake is in college herself, running track for UVU and studying to be a nurse. She is amazing and fun. She is adorable and happy. And, she is so animated. And, best of all, she is so comfortable in her own skin. I've always loved to be around her. She is the perfect namesake! She outshines me for sure!

Anyway, a few months back I got a text from my little Ali. She said she was coming to California and she wanted to stay with me. How fun and exciting. She was meeting up with some friends of hers from Lodi, where she graduated from High School. And, they were coming out to see the Ellen Show. And, so when Ali got here she showed us her song, she'd written it for Ellen and sent it in to the show. I knew immediately she'd get to meet Ellen in person. And, I was super stoked for my little cousin.

It is a catchy little song - or plea actually. Wes couldn't stop teasing her at dinner. He'd say/sing "this is my plea for you to pass the salsa"... And, my roommate and Jackie couldn't stop singing the plea around the house and in the office.




She did get on the show. And, when we talked that night, she told me how fun it was. And, then she got on plane and went back to Utah.

Next thing I know, it's a week later and I get a message from my friend Amy saying that Ali was on Ellen again. She had been called by the Ellen show and given a ticket to come back last Friday. When she got onto the show, Ellen told her that since she obviously loved music and the camera loved her, she wanted to send her to the American Music Awards to be a Red Carpet correspondent for the Ellen Show on Sunday.

Ali got to go into Ellen's wardrobe room and pick out a shiny new outfit. And, she got to bring one guest. She picked her big sister, best friend and best cheerleader, Katie, who lives in San Diego. Katie needed an outfit. So, I gave her a cute little Marc Jacobs number from my closet and we went shopping for shoes (because her crazy small feet are a 5 1/2 and I was no help to her). We had a blast trying on clothes and shoes. And, then we went to dinner.

At dinner, Katie and Ali and I were joking around about all kind of stuff. One of which was the fact that Ali had never kissed anyone. Katie said she'd probably marry the first guy she kissed (but somehow that would be two years in the making). And, I told Ali that there was no need to marry the first guy she kissed. If she wanted to make it memorable she should beg for her first kiss standing on the Red Carpet.

And so...



My sweet baby cousin had her first kiss last night... by USHER, and the dude from Lady Antebellum, and Mike Posner.

Well played cousin. You went big! And, you'll never forget it. My little namesake, I couldn't be more proud of you!

Not Very Politically Correct

So, tonight we had a YouTube video marathon. I never really watch YouTube unless someone sends me something from YouTube. I am nervous to explore it on my own (and also, pretty uninterested, if I am being honest).

Anyway, last night Chris showed us this video which is VERY VERY funny, but it's highly racist.

Actually, the reason this video is VERY VERY funny IS because it's so ridiculously racist.

Tosh.0	Weds 10:30pm / 9:30c
Kid Car Breakdown
www.comedycentral.com
Tosh.0 Videos Daniel Tosh Web Redemption

And, I sort-of, kind-of, really have a new found crush on Daniel Tosh. I love a guy who can make the world laugh while barely even cracking a smile. It's a quality I find super attractive. I really admire it. I could never do that. I follow everything funny I say with 'aren't I so funny?!?'

My most amusing dates...

...usually happen when I am on vacation.

Silent Deadly Ninja Monkeys!?!?!

This weekend I went to Vegas (which I love altogether too much for a gal who won't drink the kool-aid) to run a Ragnar Relay Race. There were 12 of us that ran 195 miles total - each of us running 3x. Our team name was The Silent Deadly Ninja Monkeys. That's right! I still have no idea what a SDNM is, but as you can imagine, a boy was in charge of the name, so we just tried to wing it. And, it all turned out so perfectly...



Because sometimes we acted like monkeys...

And, sometimes we acted like ninjas...

But, ALWAYS we acted like crazy people. We even made it on the news in Vegas (though, we may or may not have been mistaken for dogs from time to time).

The race took us 28 hours (or so). Which was apparently ridiculously fast because we finished in the top 20 (19th place overall out of 258 teams).

I can only imagine how fast we would have been had we not been late to the start, 5 minutes late to exchange 6 and late again somewhere else along the route.

We split up into groups of 6, so we could take turns picking up/dropping off/running and eating/sleeping (or trying to). Our Van (Van 2 - the best van!) may or may not have taken a wrong turn and ended up 40 miles from where we were supposed to be (but miraculously lost no time because April has a lead foot). And, we may or may not have somehow locked the car keys in our van, requiring Kelli, Jess and I to hitch-hike (in Vegas at 1 in the morning - no big deal) to our next exchanges while the others waited for AAA. But, we pulled it off.

And, as a reward for our accomplishments, we stayed at the Venetian, got dolled up and trolled the town, on Zombie Walk Weekend. I thought the people-watching in Vegas on a normal day was awesome. Zombie Walk Weekend topped everything I had ever seen in Vegas. Jess and I both got yelled at (in Zombie). Nothing like a whacked out chic with fake blood dripping down her cleavage yelling at you "I want to eat you for dinner" or "you can't come to Vegas during Zombie Week and not expect to get *messed* with by a Zombie".

Viva Las Vegas!

Tender Mercies

Bad week. REALLY bad week.

But, I had one of those weeks that people have when they notice that although they were puking all weekend, someone was holding their hair back. Well, I wasn't sick, but hopefully you get the analogy. I recognized a lot of greatness in the midst of a really bad week. Tender mercies, if you will.

Here are my thank yous for all four:

1. Wes. Thank you for showing up at my house with a drill ready to fix everything that's broken in my house, since you clearly recognized you couldn't fix everything broken in my life. I adore you for that.

2. Mo. Thank you for sending me a ticket to come home, knowing that's the only place I need to be right now. It means more to me than you'll ever know.

3. Elyse. Thank you for being you. And, for shaking me around like a snow globe for the better part of a day. But, more than that, thank you for being that friend that I can look at sideways... and then... "whoa, look at that Devonshire, I used to live on Devonshire....". There are very few people who can make life better and know exactly how to do it with only one glance from a very close friend. You make my life better.

4. Jeanette. You are a blessing in my life, every day. Cute as a button! I am glad I don't have to go through a lot of my uncertainty alone.

We're all being punk'd

Cori and I met when I was just starting college. She's 12 years older than I am. And, when we met, her youngest son, Bricen was 4.

Cori now lives in Hawaii, where she grew up, which works for both of us. If she lived in Kentucky, I might NEVER visit her. And, I am beyond thrilled that our latest Hawaiian adventures are about to happen for a week in November.

Is it November yet?

Bricen promised me when he was 4 that he would NEVER grow-up. Well, he lied, of course. And, now he's 18... sweet mercy, where did the time go?!?

Now the liar lives in California, right down the street from me. And, I couldn't be more stoked about it. We play, and it's fun.

Bricen just got his first job and he recently had a conversation with his mom, which she retold to me. I found it perfectly apt in describing how I feel lately. It went a little something like this...

Cori: Bri, how is the new job going?
Bricen: Well, it sucks I hate it.
Cori: Why?
Bricen: I just don't like it. I feel like I am being punk'd.
Cori: Welcome to life son, we're all being punk'd.

I have an amazingly wonderful life. I am blessed beyond measure. But, I sure could have done without 2010. Each and every day I hope I am getting punk'd. But, I am not. This entire year was one I could have done without. I sure wish trials and tragedies would space themselves out a bit. I am exhausted.

If it's not November yet, I don't suppose I get any repreive from 2011 yet either... oh well.

It's Official (part 2)...

And, the first thing I want to sew is this. It's just so stinkin' cute. Someday, I will. Sigh....

My new favorite past time...

Every once in a while I replace my former "new favorite past time" with a new and improved one. This week, I did just that.

As I am sure all of you are brutally aware, I am not a techie. With the exception of purchasing an Ipod Mini (the old skool version of a Nano) which I pre-ordered because words can't even begin to explain how much I love running to music, I have never been on the cutting-edge of electronic technology. I keep the same electronics (and cars) until I HAVE to get a new one. Becuase I am super lazy about getting new electronics and learning how to use them. And, we all know how much I enjoy doing things I am not good at. Additionally, I am bored as all get out when people try to explain to me what is available and then I have to make a choice about what to get.... ugh.... For a REALLY decisive person, it's my nightmare.

But, necessity forced me to get a new cell phone (which is now probably worth more than my car, which I also need to replace, but I am SO dreading going to a car dealer... ugh). The track ball fell out of my phone. It was probably assisted by my friend Jeff TAKING it out (under the guise of "I am cleaning it for you"). One day it just stopped wanting to stay in, which rendered my Blackberry utter useless. So... ta da... I got a Droid 2.

And, I have to admit, I absolutely love it.

One of the things that many applications that my phone has is touch to talk. Which is, in essence, a walkie-talkie that can be used with other people who have Droid phones. Well, Wes has a Droid. And walkie-talkie conversation with Wes, is super fun for 2 reasons. 1.) Wes works in an cubicle, surrounded by other traders in an open environment where all business is conducted. 2.) Once you've established a walkie-talkie connection, you can talk at any moment in time, without any warning. Of course during the middle of every work day I have taken to saying things to him like this:

Ali (over the walkie-talkie): Wes, you left your jock itch medicine in my car. You must have forgotten to take it with you. And, I am sure you must be really itchy.

Ali (over the walkie talkie, the next day): Wes, your ballet teacher called. He said your class has been switched from 3 to 4.

Hee hee hee... I know, I am very childish sometimes.

Wes did come up with a good one for me. Unfortunately for him, I work in an office, with a door, so no one heard it, but it went a little something like this:

Wes (over the walkie talkie): Als, I have your Depends. I am sure you really need them. You must be real leaky.

I told him that his accusation wasn't funny, since I am getting older and everything. (But, secretly, I thought it was quite good).

Who can I talk to....???

... about having the LDS church set up and automatic payment plan for my tithing?

I have the worst memory. And, then at the end of the year (every year) I have a near panic attack.

Anyway... Claire and I would definitely sign up. I am just sayin'... maybe someone who is privy to communication with church royalty can throw that out there for us.

It's Official...

Have I really not updated this blog for 2 1/2 weeks?!? Oops.

And, after all that time, this is my big news...

Drum roll please!

I really really really want to learn how to sew. I think I might even take a class.

Yikes!

This was not a smart move lady!

Some people SEEM smart on the surface, but then they do something like that, and totally redeem themselves?!?

Poor, crazy Internist lady.

No Secrets here.

The other day I was wearing this silk dress. It had a big bold pattern on it, so it wasn't terribly see-through or anything. But, I was going to wear a slip anyway.

Well, turns out I don't own a slip. Because, well, no one owns a slip anymore.

Anyhooooo... I come into work and I asked Jackie if I need a slip. This was her reply:

"What for? What have you got to hide? Everyone knows you've got two legs and a butt under that dress. What's the big secret???"

So, no slip for me. I am not afraid!

Praying for a Public Flogging!

Because I think Lance Armstrong is, perhaps, the biggest cad that ever roamed planet earth, I want this to be true.

Please tell me this really happened!

Ok, I know it's The Onion, so I am sure it's just fun. I am sure if there was even a modicum of truth to this story, it would be all over the news, so I have to conclude that it IS just a fabrication to provide satire and entertainment to the masses.

But, man alive, I wish it was true. It totally sounds like something he WOULD say and do. Because he's a fool. I seriously can't stand that dude.

Bi-polar?!?

I can't decide if I am low-maintenance or extremely high-maintenance.

Lately, I vacillate between extremes.

The other day I was all annoyed that according to what are known as common courtesy, social/cultural norms, and hygenically accepted practices that I have bathe/shower AND shave my legs occasionally;

and then...

the next day I wanted to get hair extension and eye lash extensions.

Hmmm... like most things, I have landed happily (sometimes a little less than happily) in the middle.

Operation Stop-Buying-Everything-Cute-That-You-See...

... whether it be online or in a store. I am trying to refrain.

It's been almost a week. Whew.

And, throughout the week, I decided that I had to free up some space in my closet so that everything fits better.

I came up with 5 bags of stuff I could give away. (Anthropologie size bags, not trash bags - don't kid yourselves).

I was going to donate said clothes and accessories (and one book that sucked big time) to the D.I. or Goodwill, until I came up with a better plan.

If I can get an address, I am going to send my clothes to Lady Gaga, since she clearly has a really hard time keeping her unmentionables all covered up. Hopefully, she's a size 6 or 8.

Once I had a gratitude journal...

... and, I wrote in it every single day for at least a week.

As previously mentioned, I never really have been very proficient at attending to goals for any noteworthy length of time.

So, I am offering up this blog entry as a one-time demonstration of my daily gratitude.

Today, I am grateful that my mom isn't the most technologically savvy parent. Thus, more than likely she has never seen this website - in fact, I am quite sure of it, because, if she had, I would clearly have my very own similar profile.

Maybe, I'll come up with additional gracious entries, but don't hold your breath.

My newest (RIDICULOUS) goal

I hate cheese! I always have. It seems like an unnatural food. It stretches. It's greasy. It bounces when you drop it. It's dairy, yet sometimes it comes in a can. Ick. I.just.don't.like.it. But, people (almost ALL people) think that my distaste for cheese is weird. And, sadly, almost every single time a guy makes me dinner, it's lasagna... try faking love for lasagna when you hate cheese. It's tough. So, most of the time when I have to tell people that I hate cheese, I always follow it up with, I know I am weird. I have come to realize, that if I say it first, no one else has to say it. Somehow, I like that better.

Similarly, with my new goal, prior to anyone else saying it first, I will say it - I know, I am ridiculous.

Before I reveal my newest (RIDICULOUS) goal, let me explain what created my desire for said new goal.

We have rats. Well, actually we HAD rats. Moises (the pest control guy, and the guy who has been getting more of my attention than most lately) assures me that they are gone. I don't know that I believe him. But, I am trying to. The rats were sequestered to the attic(s) which are in the back of my closets (yep, I have 2). So, in order to get in and out I have to take out all my clothes and shoes... which was quite a chore. All of the contents of my closet remained on my floor for over two (2) months, because I had to check the attic every single bloody day and call the pest control guy to come take the rats out. I think we caught seven (7). Gross!!!

I remember reading Corrie Ten Boom's The Hiding Place when I was younger. In the book, there is a part where she and her sister are in the basement at the concentration camp filled with rats and fleas. And, every night they got on their knees and thanked the Lord for the rats and the fleas. Because of them, no one ever went down into the basement and so she and her sister got to read the Bible, whereas everyone else was forbidden from doing so. Try as I might, I could never learn to love those rats! My room REALLY looked like a hoarder's room. There were clothes and shoes EVERYWHERE. I tripped all the time. And, I don't like clutter! But, it did make me realize that I have SO SO SO SO many clothes. I mean a completely obscene amount. And, I guess I should be grateful for that?!?

Last night I counted, I have 14 bathing suits. The oldest of which is three (3) years old. That's normal, right? I live at the beach! Still, a bit excessive, I presume. But, the sad part is that I have probably actually gone to the beach a handful of times this year, add pools into the mix and maybe, just maybe, you'd get a dozen times. That means, in a year, I can't even don all of the bathing suits I own. Embarrassing. And, I won't even start on the clothes and shoes. I have an entire dresser full of accessories... none of which I ever bother to put on (with the exception of an occasional headband). It's truly ridiculous. Jackie teases me ALL THE TIME, as do others, 'you really should try wearing something twice'. I really have to put an end to the madness.

And it's crazy that I have that many outfits anyway. I mean for what? I spend more and more time in my pajamas or my running clothes than anything. And, the people I work with are NOT impressed with my wardrobe or sense of style. Just the other day one of my co-workers asked me if I made my sweater. I am pretty sure that wasn't a compliment.

And, so my goal is this. Starting 8-8-10, I am going to actually wear the clothes and shoes I own and not purchase even one (1) additional item (no clothes, shoes, or accessories) for A WHOLE YEAR. Impressive, right?!? Well...

Let's review how good I am at keeping goals. I had two (2) New Year's Resolutions. One was to return a movie to Blockbuster that I kept for four (4) months. I did end up doing that, sometime in January (February, at the latest). The other was to register my car, which was slated to be re-registered in November (2009). It's August. And, technically, I haven't done that. I mean I DID actual register the car in January, but then there was that matter of the smog check. I was just TOO LAZY to get it done, plus, I was concerned my car might not pass, which is silly, I know. But, in April I got an $88 ticket from the city of Newport. So, in May I got a smog check. It passed with flying colors. After which, I was supposed to go to the DMV and pick up my tags. Well... I went to the DMV, but the line was so bloody long. I told myself I would just go back later (that was in June). Last weekend I got a ticket for expired tags ($25). You think I would just do it! What the...

So, in order to keep myself accountable, I am recording my progress on a separate blog (just for the year).

Wish me luck! We all know, I need it.

Every single day...

... I find new things that remind me that I may or may not be old!

Some days it's that my bones hurt or make popping noises, other days it's that I realize I have a ton of wrinkles, or that I don't really know anything about Justin Beiber or that I do know and remember who Gary Coleman is and the exact T.V. show he was on.

Today it's that I bought some stuff from Talbots! Eeeeek. That's an old lady store! Right?!? Like Chicos?!? I told my co-worker that I bought some stuff from there and she wasn't alarmed. Jackie said that it's not REALLY an old lady store, but that it's just one that has an image problem. Maybe they need a PR firm. Who knows.

So, I am super in love with this website called Shopstyle.com. It's such a rad website. It is for clothing what Kayak is for flights/hotels/vacations. I like it because you can shop by Designer or store and better yet, item and color. Some days I just feel like I need (more like want) something in particular. The other day it was a new yellow skirt, because I saw someone wearing one and I decided I needed one (of course, this is a NEED, and not a want... right?!? - Wrong, I know we might be able to do a shopstyle search in my very own closet, but whatever). So anyway... I shopstyle searched for a yellow skirt. And, I got 9 pages worth of options. They ranged from like $5 to $500. And, the one I liked best was from Talbots. So, I am just admitting it!

I also saw a lot of other cute things there which I may or may not have purchased. And, they were all SUPER cheap.

So are these mom clothes?!? Or grandma clothes?!? Because I thought they were actually really cute. But, what do I know?!?

I think I give up... but, I can't commit even to that.

People are ALWAYS trying to get me to go to these mid-singles conferences at church.

I KNOW deep down that I should want to go. But, I don't. I won't. I can't.

I went to like an hour of one and I thought I was going to die. Let me tell you what happened. I went to church in Huntington Beach and there were like a bazillion mid-singles there, but it looked like cougar prom or something! Everyone was SO decked out. And, there was so much spray tan going on it was crazy. Oh, and one girl was knitting... IN THE CHAPEL, DURING SACRAMENT MEETING... who does that?!? And, no one was paying attention... and everyone was looking around the room... and... ugh... I had to get out of there. I was SO uncomfortable.

The raddest part was that I was in the temple the Thursday before the conference, which was apparently the night dedicated for those attending that conference. I had no idea, I just wanted to go. Anyhoo... I met this girl in the dressing room and she had never met me, but she was trying SO hard to convince me to go to this lovely conference. Lucky for me, I had to chaperone Youth Conference, so even if I wanted to (and I didn't) I already made other commitments. And, she was telling me that she wanted to find love and there was no one to date where she was from and blah blah blah. And, you know what?!? I saw her during that one hour of pure torture that I sat in that Chapel in HB... and there she was like white on rice staring all googley-eyed at some dude and they were mouthing their I love yous to each other. And, I really genuinely thought 'how cute, she found someone!' And, that thought was promptly followed by '... oh my gosh, what is this the Bachelor?!? Who falls in love in one weekend!?!' =

Honestly, I fancy myself very friendly and relatively social... but, I HATE those things. I just refuse. The speed dating. The church dances for 30-year-olds. The cheesy pick-up lines. Ugh... I am visually disturbed as I type this. But, before I go on, let me just say this... to each his/her own. If you love them, I am applaud you. I wish I could... but, I can't. I just can't.

I love that everyone is so so so desirous to get me married off. It's sweet. And, I am truly flattered. But, don't hold your breath... any of you.

So, today I (along with a few others) get this email from my dear sweet friend Nacolynn inviting me to this mid-singles conference somewhere in the high desert for this upcoming weekend. Luckily, I have committed to go to a wedding for a girl I work with that has probably talked to me three (3) times EVER, and I think at least two (2) of them she was irked because I needed something from her. But, for some reason she invited me to her wedding. I am assuming it's because she must not know too many people. And I, of course, have said no approximately 4x ever, so I am going. And, up until about an hour ago, I was cursing the fact that I said yes, but now, I feel suddenly relieved to have previous plans. Because, I CANNOT take another round of 'it's not that bad, you should just go' to a bloody mid-singles conference.

Nacolynn: I know it’s in Hesperia or wherever, but I’m just sending along the info if you’re interested, you never know! You could be a cowgirl princess the rest of your life! (p.s. look at the “disclaimer” section on being single…good thing they’re clarifying!)

Ali (me): Do people find love in the desert? It seems like it's way too hot to get your game on. You'd be all sweaty?!? I am just sayin'...

Holly: Aug in the Desert, Mid-Singles, Meat Market. No thanks.

Nacolynn: Haha, maybe it’s all indoor lol Then again, maybe they do it so you see the “inner beauty.”

Nacolynn: And I guess if you get too bored, you can trot up to Barstow for outlet shopping…just sayin’

Tanni: Huntington has a beach thing going on that day. You going to the high desert?

Ali (me): I can't go to either. I have a wedding to attend. But, in truth, I will think of ANY excuse not to have to go to those things. I HATE THEM!!!

Tanni: They aren't that bad. how do you meet guys then?

Ali (me):I am hoping God will drop one in my lap... a guy who always wanted to marry a girl who always wears pajamas. If not, I might have to get a cat. :)

I LOVE Anthropologie!

But, this is seriously tragic.

These necklaces cost $298 each.

And.they.are.so.so.so.awful.

That's all.

Talents for Sale

My friend Seth said the funniest thing the other day... "I used to play sports, but then I found out you could buy trophies. Now I am good at everything."

LOVE IT!

I super wish I was sporty or crafty or ... you name it. I always wanted to be one of those people that barely tries and just oozes out talent. Not so. But, some days I am funny. So, that will have to do.

I remember sitting in Kara Pehovajawich's living room, eating candy and watching "Sweet 16". This bratty little girl said "I know people say money doesn't buy happiness and I know that's true, but I think it certainly helps???" Kara and I just looked at each other and laughed and shrugged our shoulders. The little twit may have had a point.

And, so I must admit I am very lucky that at this stage in my life, I can buy things - lots of things. More than I need. Right now my passion is talents. I buy them - mostly on ETSY. I bought this invitation and sent it out for Marci's bridal shower... I bought this tutu as part of my costume for the next Ragnar Relay... and I really wanted some cool artsy type stuff and so I turned to this photographer, who is very clever and artistic and this graphic designer and this artist. I also like the jewelry of this store and also the accessories at this one and also this one...

As, you can probably tell, I could spent all day and my entire income on ETSY. It's like Fred Segal on-line, but WAY cheaper. It has everything you can imagine and all handmade. Uh... how I love ETSY. If I had any profitable talents I would sell stuff there! Do you think I could sell some wit?

It's All Fun and Games...

... until someone mistakes you for a carni!

Yikes. I went to the fair yesterday. And, I was wearing a little hoodie and some sailor pants... which was not what I saw any of the other carnies wearing. But, alas, some lady came up to me in the petting zoo area and asked if I worked at the fair. I promptly replied in the negative. After which, she asked me "what happened to that big ole' cow that gave birth on Sunday?" - So, as you can see, I got mistaken for a fair worker, which makes me kind of want to take my own life! But... moving on.

I.Love.the.Fair! Shady people. Shady food. Farm yard animals.

Last night they had piglet races. We cheered on a pig named "Sloppy Joe."

And, we talked to a rancher about cattle. Holly was alarmed at my lack of knowledge about cows and bulls and heifers and steers and angus and.... blah blah blah. There is a lot of useless knowledge about cattle. I feel like I should hold a 4-H meeting just to regurgitate it to someone who could actually do something with it. I mean truthfully, I don't even really like hamburgers or steaks... but, anyway...

I also came about 2 minutes after a goat gave birth and was still laying in the after birth. It.was.gross. But, watching that little goat try to walk was like watching Bambi.

And, although we abstained from partaking of any of the delicacies at the fair, we did meet up with a guy who wanted to tell us about all the things he ate from this place:


Fried butter?!? Chocolate bacon?!? There were a lot of professional eaters at the Orange County Fair. A LOT!

The best family ever...

is mine...

all mine.