To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Monday, March 5, 2007

Odd Jobs

Anyone who knows me, knows how guilt-prone I am. I can't say "no" to anyone or any situation. And, I get worse with age. Lately, I've been volunteering to do things I have no idea how to do. "Ummm, sure we can borrow a truck from Joe and tow all your possessions to Phoenix... what size is the hitch??? that depends, what's a hitch???" - Good times!!!

I especially always say "yes" if it involves a church calling that happens to be mine. Except once!

Last year, when I was a Ward Missionary, my leader, Mike, sent out this email to myself and the 6 other ward missionaries. The email, in effect, talked about some octogenarian who needed 24-hour care for some reason. He asked us if we could take turns caring for this old man (who he'd never even met, by the way). The only task necessitating assistance was CHANGING THE OLD GUYS DIAPERS! - No joke! Then he threw in, "it would be a great missionary opportunity." I wish I could find the email. I tried, really I did. And, I can't imagine why I would have deleted it. Maybe it did so in an attempt to avert my guilt, because I said "no". Call me mean, if you must, but I don't think my gag reflex or future posterity would have survived that task. Eeeww!

I thought that was the oddest job request ever. Until... my old roommate Aubrey sent me this little gem! I think it's pretty much tantamount to the "missionary opportunity" I so cavalierly denied. Her sister just moved to Arizona. Her husband is in Medical School. They are dirt poor and so she started looking for a job. She decided to try the classified section on Craig's List. This is what she found. Again, no joke.

Subject: models needed (Scottsdale) From:
Subject: gynecology models needed (Scottsdale)

Gyn models are needed March 10th from 11-1 at Southwest College of Naturopathic Medicine Medical Center in Scottsdale, AZ. Students will be learning diaphragm fittings; each model will have 5-10 students, depending on the number of models. Compensation is $25/hour.

Original URL:

OH MY GOSH! - Well at least it pays $25/Hour. My "missionary opportunity" was voluntary!


Seymour Glass said...

you know, as disturbing as i find this post, i'm still more distraught over your lionel richie post. why are people obsessed with lionel richie? he's lame. al green, smokey robinson, these are singers worth obessing about. but lionel?

Ali B. said...

Take it back Rob! Have you ever REALLY listened to the lyrics to ballerina girl?!? They are DEEP!

Paige said...

Ali..In regards to Gyn Models..Don't knock it til you try it..HaHa. I'm glad we learned about hitches and trailers together. I never would have made it to Scottsdale in time for my gyno model job. They said I have what it takes...

Seymour Glass said...

i will not take it back. i'm a man of principle and one of those principles is that lionel richie stinks.

Brooke said...

I think the fascination is from a throw back to the Commodores days... Every girl thinks she's a "brick house..." Makes us feel sexy. Or something. By the way, Seymour, I'm not trying to pick on you, but what makes Smokey Robinson any less cheesy than Lionel???

Seymour Glass said...

are you kidding? lionel is what made the commodores good? 'brickhouse' is a truly great song (one that lionel didn't sing, he just danced around in a silly costume blowing horn), too bad lionel (the horn player) started having more creative control and gave us such gems as 'three time a lady' (which was only ever good in the Eddie Murphy cum Buckwheat incarnation 'unce, tice, fee tines a mady.').

the best r&b/soul/whatever you want to call it artists of the late 70's/early 80's were Michael Jackson and Prince, in that order. Lionel doesn't even make the list.

and don't go calling Smokey cheesy. Smokey's a legend and for good reason. that performance at the grammies with Smokey, Lionel, and that lame young kid just proved it.

Ali B. said...

I love that she called you "Seymour"! - Ok "Seymour", can you just listen to "I Call It Love" off of Lionel's new CD??? And, then we'll talk about this hang up of yours.

And, I agree with Miss Brookie, Smokey is cheesy, but that's what so cool about him!

I like them both!

What does that say about me?

Brooke said...

Since you've mentioned Al Green, Michael and Prince (hands DOWN the best of the 80s), I'll give you a pass. But just for what it's worth, I think that deep down every woman likes the romantic (cheesy) idea that somehow, somewhere, there is a blind man staring out a window dreaming of her... It's the same logic that has James Blundt's record sales at 98% women, 2% gay men. Period.

Seymour Glass said...

smokey is not cheesy. period. he's one of the central cogs of motown (along with marvin and stevie and the groups) and is super cool. no one supporting lionel richie can even suggest that smokey is cheesy. i mean, have you seen the video for "Dancing on the Ceiling"?!?

and no ali, i won't listen to it. i got enough lionel richie growing up watching MTV everyday after school waiting/hoping to see The Clash and The Talking Heads and Run DMC, but instead I got to watch a lot of creepy videos with blind girls and oversized richie-esque chia-heads.

f*bomb. said...

I got paid way more than that. Give me a call. I'll totally hook you up.