S.E.D. was so obscenely fat that his 6-inch legs bowed at the girth of his 45-pound frame. We used to hold food out for S.E.D. in an effort to see him jump... his record high jump was 2.44 inches with his front legs and he cleared absolutely no air with the hind legs. Man, we laughed so hard! Anyway, we always felt better about being on the couch in our P.J.s double-fisting it - imbibing "long neck" Dr. Peppers with the left hand and shoveling Little Debbie snacks in our mouths with the right. Because no matter how we rough we had it, S.E.D. was WAY worse off.
I love my job! I love it for a lot of reasons. One of my favorite reasons is that it's the S.E.J. (Self-Esteem Job). I work in a construction firm in Pomona... where I am currently the hottest thing here by the mere fact that I have all my teeth. (Don't worry, I drive to and from to Orange County every night, which keeps me in tune with reality). Today I was working on selecting photos from my Christmas Party this year to update our company website... where my brother was my date for the 2nd year running... thanks Mo... and I ran across some S.E.P. (Self Esteem Photos), reminding me how much I love my S.E.J., especially for the eye-candy that strolls in now and again.
I can't imagine loving anyone enough to say "yes, I'll go to your semi-formal work Christmas Party... even though I have a broken neck?!?"
This lady was not paid to work at the party... she was a guest of a guy that works for us, the one with the ponytail behind her. But, I so totally wanted to stick a few one dollar bills in her fur collar... Joe said I couldn't. Let me remind you... SEMI-FORMAL!
This guy... well he actually WAS paid. He was the gentleman running the Craps table. It was about 60 degrees, most of us were actually kind of cold in there... not this guy. He left pools of sweat on the Craps table. Do you think this could be some sort of syndrome or something.
See, it's not so bad that I keep taking my little brother, CLEARLY there were better things to look at. Thanks for being my perma-date little bro.
I maintain that you don't have to look very far to make yourself feel more esteemed, just take a S.E.S. (Self Esteem Stroll) down to Disneyland or the nearest airport and you'll instantly feel blessed and hot!