To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Thursday, March 8, 2007

Yet ANOTHER reason it's great to be single.

Groom Hit His Bride With Car
The Associated Press
March 06, 2007

We have a wedding certificate for (March) 4th. They were still honeymooning when he ran her over. It wasn't the most romantic of honeymoons. Police said a groom is in jail, accused of trying to run over his new wife after a weekend wedding in Las Vegas. 'We have a wedding certificate for (March) 4th. They were still honeymooning when he ran her over,' said Lt. Paul Jaroscak, a spokesman for the Salt Lake County sheriff's office.

Police received an emergency call Monday from someone reporting a couple fighting in a car as they traveled on Highland Drive, about 10 miles southeast of Salt Lake City. Katie Martindale, 29, apparently got out of the car and started to walk away when James Olwine, 33, drove off the road and hit her with the car, pushing her into a snowbank, Jaroscak said.

http://www.topix.net/content/ap/2505319066409399152308579220780814320550?threadid=A3OA2U63D0G80NEU

Ummmm... That sucks!

9 comments:

Seymour Glass said...

everyone who knew this couple should've seen it coming. i mean, a honeymoon in vegas? yeah, that's a great idea. why not just get married there too. because marriages that happen in vegas stay in vegas. that's right.

Marigold said...

the crazy ones are always from utah.

Marigold said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Brooke said...

Well said, "Marigold"... My thoughts exactly! Wasn't that crazy astronaut stalker lady with the diaper from Utah? I could be mistaken on that one... Don't quote me.

Johnny Blue Star said...

I actually enjoy being single. It is so entirely liberating. True, I have had some failure and saddness when it comes to past relationships, which I am sure you and all of your adoring fans have experienced to varying degrees, but significant others always go crazy from time to time and not having to ever worry about that has its perks.

This being said, I very much enjoy cuddling as well. I also don't mind kissing if there is some meaning behind it. In addition, I want kids. Can I have all those things and not have to worry about my companion losing her (at least originally attractive) mind and hitting me with a car, or cutting off my... uhh... feet, or giving me the "look" 48 times a day just killing my soul slowly not unlike bleeding me to death?!?!?!?

(And if you are curious about the "look," it is a stare with supernatural flames surging from her eye sockets with billows of hatesmoke pouring out her mouth. I'm not sure all girls have this in their arsenal, but chances are if your mom owns the "look," you own it as well.)

Wrapping up, there are about 812 documented reasons, including fear of death, for singledom being great, but there remains like 19 incontrovertible reasons why being married is cool. If you want to find out what they are, just light a candle near your bedroom window around 2am, and after seeing it through by binoculars I will call you on the phone and not hang up 5 seconds after you pick up, like usual. I will then arrange a meeting with you after work that day. When you get home to get ready, you will find the perfect outfit laid out on your bed, and thousands of rose pedals blanketing your apartment. You will also find superglued to your fridge, a weddng picture of my parents with our faces photoshopped onto the bodies.

XOXO

P.S. For those non-Ali readers of this comment, please keep in mind inside jokes have been referred to, and do not report me to members of Bishoprics or local authorities, please. thank you.

f*bomb. said...

I kill all my husbands on our honeymoon. That way, we just remember the good times, and I never even have to do their laundry!

HannaHighpoint said...

The crazy astronaut was from Texas - which is even crazier than Utah due to thier overzealous state pride...

Ali B. said...

I keep trying to defend Texas, but they keep producing Crazies, cheerleader killers, astro-NUTs, people who drown their kids while living in a modified bus, people that drive their kids into a river while strapped in their carseats - all for the love of a man, etc. They might need to pull it together. (Sorry Brooke)!

Wendy said...

I know that there are some weirdos from Utah, but I have to say that Texas frequently produces some frigtening individuals. What are they doing to women down there? And if I move there will it rub off or are they all homegrown?