To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Tuesday, November 6, 2007

Maybe I can't live anywhere, maybe just almost anywhere

Seriously, prior to this week, the only places I was really really not excited to live were Arizona (been there done that, no good - sorry if I offended anyone with that one) and Florida (I am not so sorry for offending anyone there - Florida is REALLY no good)! I have been to 46 states. Seriously, I have. Many of them are no good actually. The people in Kentucky are so white they have a blueish hue - possibly from a pigment deficiency... still it was pretty, I could live there... I mean if I met the perfect guy... perfect in every way, but he HAD to live in Kentucky... I'd do it - it wouldn't be a deal breaker!

Arizona - deal breaker... Florida - deal breaker... and the newest addition St. Louis (or anywhere else in Missouri) deal breaker!

So, I am in St. Louis for a business trip. This is not the first time I have been here either (I came last year). There are some malls and even a temple, so you think I'd be ok with it. Nope. It sucks!

There are so many NO GOOD things about this place:

1.) The minimum speed limit is 40 mph... meaning you can drive THAT slow... and they do. We all know that a person would get shot for driving that slow in Cali.

2.) The maximum speed limit is 55 mph... apparently this is not a joke - I asked... meaning you can't drive faster than that... and no one did. We all know that a person would get popped for driving even that slow in Cali.

3.) It seems as if there is a lot of road construction going on in and around St. Louis. About every 100 yards there are signs posted that read this "Hit a worker pay $10,000 in fines and lose your license." - I find this sign VERY disturbing for many reasons: a.) clearly this has happened A LOT for their to be signs posted everywhere like it was tantamount to driving in the carpool lane! - Hello "hit a worker" - No good! b.) I think $10,000 is a bit steep given the fact that the speed limit restrictions would totally prohibit anyone from even knocking over a worker at such a nominal speed!

4.) It is 20 degrees in the bloody state. That's right! 20! 2-0! Brrrrrr. And, to add insult to injury, it's also windy and humid. I tried to talk to someone outside and I could not speak. It literally is take-your-breath-away cold.

5.) There is NOTHING to do here. I went to the Arch (check)... I went to Blueberry Hill (check)... I saw the monument for the Spirit of St. Louis (check)... I went to the Cheesecake Factory (check)... I went to the gym twice (check, check)... now what???

As you can see I am about to take my own life out here. Good thing I get to come back tomorrow.


Amanda said...

Ali, that story about the guy taking you on the date in San Fran is still one of my favorites...Golden Gate Bridge, (check)

Ali B. said...

Best date ever! "You saw the Golden Gate Bridge, check. You saw a bus, which is almost exactly like a trolley, check check. Let's go eat!" It's tragic that one didn't go anywhere... really it is! I love that you remember that story Amanda!